1
00:00:16,058 --> 00:00:17,559
Hey, kiddo.
2
00:00:18,644 --> 00:00:23,648
So, I gotcha a matcha.
3
00:00:23,649 --> 00:00:25,317
- I'm good.
- You seem good.
4
00:00:27,319 --> 00:00:30,446
So, the police would like us to come down
to the station soon.
5
00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:32,824
Maybe you want to throw on
some socks and shoes.
6
00:00:33,617 --> 00:00:35,868
Or, not socks. That's fine.
7
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:38,579
Even if I did burn his house
down on purpose,
8
00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:40,122
no jury would convict me.
9
00:00:40,123 --> 00:00:42,875
Not sure we want to say
that sort of thing out loud.
10
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:46,504
Maybe you wanna practice
saying how it was an accident?
11
00:00:46,505 --> 00:00:49,048
I don't need to practice saying the truth.
12
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:50,299
I like that.
13
00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:53,135
If you don't slip that in, I am going to.
14
00:00:53,136 --> 00:00:55,263
So, did you brush your hair?
15
00:00:55,264 --> 00:00:57,224
- I did.
- The back, too?
16
00:00:58,308 --> 00:01:00,310
You know what? I like it. It's good.
17
00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:05,523
Dad, I lost my slipper under the desk.
18
00:01:05,524 --> 00:01:07,149
- Oh. Here you go, sweetie.
- Can you kick it to me?
19
00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:08,276
- There you go.
- Thank you.
20
00:01:08,277 --> 00:01:09,819
Let's keep our shoes on in here, folks.
21
00:01:09,820 --> 00:01:11,737
There's some creamers.
22
00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:13,322
- I'm good.
- I know how this looks,
23
00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:15,825
especially 'cause Arch and I
were in a big fight,
24
00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:18,119
and I was pretty pissed off.
25
00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:21,247
Oh, sorry, hold on.
I'm just listening and I'm not writing.
26
00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:23,833
Just let me catch up here. Motive, check.
27
00:01:23,834 --> 00:01:27,503
Officer, she doesn't have to practice
if she is saying the truth.
28
00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:28,963
Do you want me to write that down?
29
00:01:28,964 --> 00:01:30,299
- Mm-hmm.
- Anyway...
30
00:01:31,550 --> 00:01:34,552
I took his copy of War and Peace
and I lit it on fire.
31
00:01:34,553 --> 00:01:37,847
Sorry, you intentionally
burned my first edition Tolstoy?
32
00:01:37,848 --> 00:01:39,932
- I did, yeah.
- The Clara Bell translation
33
00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:43,603
is the only one in the English language
that has the second epilogue.
34
00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:45,396
Oh, it burned so good.
35
00:01:45,397 --> 00:01:47,398
So then, you did arson a book.
36
00:01:47,399 --> 00:01:49,609
- Arson isn't a verb.
- I'm pretty sure it's a verb.
37
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,152
- No, it's not a verb.
- It's a verb.
38
00:01:51,153 --> 00:01:53,362
And I am not looking it up,
I just have to check...
39
00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:55,823
- It's not a verb, mate.
- Checking something else real quick.
40
00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:58,409
I burned the book,
but the house was an accident.
41
00:01:58,410 --> 00:01:59,869
- I swear.
- Oh, exactly.
42
00:01:59,870 --> 00:02:03,205
Archie, is there anything
that you would like to add
43
00:02:03,206 --> 00:02:05,667
that might be helpful for your wife?
44
00:02:08,879 --> 00:02:12,591
If Katie says that it was an accident,
then it was an accident.
45
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,843
Well, there you go. Case closed.
46
00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:19,263
No, don't do that. Don't tell me how
to do my police work.
47
00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:21,724
I don't tell you how to write
your Rooster books, do I?
48
00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:24,060
- Okay.
- But I'll tell you what, if I did,
49
00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:25,811
I would have the guy do karate.
50
00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:27,146
- Maybe.
- Wouldn't that be fun?
51
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:28,522
- Mm, sure.
- You know, just going around,
52
00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:29,982
like fighting stuff, like, "Ah!"
53
00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:31,609
- Whoa!
- Ah! My trousers.
54
00:02:31,610 --> 00:02:34,779
Man, these are the only trousers I have
that didn't burn in the fire.
55
00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:37,114
- "Trousers."
- Get some paper towels?
56
00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:39,408
- Oh, yes. Okay.
- Please. Christ alive.
57
00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:41,620
You can barely see it.
58
00:02:44,373 --> 00:02:47,793
I wasn't sure if you were gonna
have my back, so thanks.
59
00:02:48,627 --> 00:02:49,711
Yeah, of course.
60
00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:52,673
I still love you.
61
00:02:54,216 --> 00:02:55,925
Cool.
62
00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:58,010
So, does your dad know that...
63
00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:01,472
that Sunny's been impregnated?
64
00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:05,018
Absolutely insane way
to distance yourself from it.
65
00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:09,730
No. God, no. It's humiliating enough.
66
00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:12,066
Yeah, I'm not even sure
if Sunny's gonna keep it.
67
00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:14,777
It's always sort of
one thing or another with her.
68
00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:17,489
Well, would you keep me posted on that?
'Cause I love a good cliffhanger.
69
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:22,994
Why did you do this to us?
70
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,663
I don't know, maybe I just
wanted to be with someone
71
00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:26,956
who thought I was really great again.
72
00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:29,625
- Ew.
- Recently, all of our conversations
73
00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:32,253
have been about how I needed to change.
74
00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:35,715
Okay, I know that I am flawed,
I'll admit that.
75
00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:37,925
Frankly, my self-awareness has made it
76
00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:41,220
a lot easier for me to forgive you.
77
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:44,599
I already have, you know?
But, I guess the only question is...
78
00:03:45,851 --> 00:03:47,853
will you ever be able to forgive me?
79
00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:51,313
Can we... I wanna back up.
80
00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:52,441
Did you...
81
00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:55,444
You forgive me?
82
00:03:57,028 --> 00:03:58,279
I do.
83
00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:00,030
I mean, who hasn't gone a little crazy
84
00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:01,615
- after a bad breakup?
- Well.
85
00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:03,952
- That's what Katie's going through.
- Yeah, that's true.
86
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:08,456
I had a prom date stand me up,
and I dropped out of high school.
87
00:04:08,457 --> 00:04:09,749
- Oh.
- Yeah, went out on the road
88
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,125
following Limp Bizkit around.
89
00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:12,752
- Really?
- Yeah.
90
00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:16,005
Guess how many times
they called me up on stage?
91
00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:18,592
- Seventeen.
- Seventeen?
92
00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:22,053
You ever seen anybody
get called up on stage 17 times?
93
00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:24,973
That's an outrageously high number.
94
00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:28,142
I was called on stage three times.
95
00:04:28,143 --> 00:04:30,144
- Katie's a really good kid.
- Ah!
96
00:04:30,145 --> 00:04:31,937
- Whoa!
- You stupid fuck.
97
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:34,398
You're lucky he didn't leave
his gun in here.
98
00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:37,026
Oh, actually, I did.
I'm just gonna yoink that...
99
00:04:37,027 --> 00:04:38,736
- Oh! Heads up!
- Jesus Christ!
100
00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:41,655
Gun on the floor.
You know, I never put it back right.
101
00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:43,450
That's the main... There we go.
102
00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:10,267
Before we get started,
103
00:05:10,268 --> 00:05:12,353
submissions for
The Ludlow Review are open,
104
00:05:12,354 --> 00:05:14,605
so get us your poems and short stories.
105
00:05:14,606 --> 00:05:18,651
I can tell you, nothing feels better
than seeing your work in print.
106
00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:20,152
My first published piece
107
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,488
is still taped on my dad's refrigerator
108
00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:24,782
next to a Georgia Bulldogs magnet
109
00:05:24,783 --> 00:05:28,077
and the number of a plumber
who died about six years ago.
110
00:05:28,078 --> 00:05:30,412
My stuff's not going on the fridge.
111
00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:34,124
'Cause I write about real life.
And in real life, I pull.
112
00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:36,377
- Hmm?
- I'm talking threesomes.
113
00:05:36,378 --> 00:05:38,879
Girl-on-girl, milf, dilf, Eli.
114
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:41,006
- What's that?
- You wanna get pegged?
115
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:42,383
- Okay.
- I have asthma.
116
00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:43,884
Okay, well, bring your nebulizer.
117
00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:45,344
Eva. Heel, girl.
118
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:48,056
Okay, diving back into Emily Dickinson.
119
00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:50,850
Hey, Walt.
120
00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,268
Got you a double espresso in a big cup.
121
00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:54,061
Ah, thank you.
122
00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:57,064
I think our favorite barista
might have cut her own bangs.
123
00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:58,774
Something is deeply off.
124
00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:00,609
I can't worry about Beverly right now.
125
00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:03,654
We just heard about
a new Green Initiative, and he's...
126
00:06:03,655 --> 00:06:06,615
The trustees are shoving
a very complicated policy down my throat.
127
00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:08,702
Okay, you wanna take
one of our coffee walks? You can vent.
128
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:11,537
I don't know.
129
00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:13,038
- Good morning, Dean Riggs.
- Hi.
130
00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:15,165
Oh, Professor Shepard. Hi, buddy.
131
00:06:15,166 --> 00:06:17,334
Cristle, can you send me a student file?
132
00:06:17,335 --> 00:06:20,297
Gracie Shaw.
She says she has ADHD.
133
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:23,048
But I think she's just lazy
and a little dumb.
134
00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:24,593
Or she's really struggling.
135
00:06:25,427 --> 00:06:26,636
Let's all root for her.
136
00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:30,014
How are you friends with this guy?
137
00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:31,807
We're not close.
I keep him at arm's length.
138
00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:33,643
You two are having dinner tonight at 7:30.
139
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:35,978
Thank you, Cristle.
140
00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:37,396
Oh. My bad.
141
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:38,981
Hey, Walt? Can we talk for...
142
00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:41,234
Oh. Oh. Hi. How you doing?
143
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:43,903
- Great.
- Great.
144
00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:45,362
How'd you sleep?
145
00:06:45,363 --> 00:06:47,740
- How did I sleep?
- Yeah. Mm.
146
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:50,034
- I'm gonna go.
- Alright.
147
00:06:50,035 --> 00:06:52,286
- May I ask you a question?
- Yes, come. What can I do for you, Greg?
148
00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:53,662
Well, this is about Katie.
149
00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:55,331
Fire away. Just don't ask how I slept.
150
00:06:55,332 --> 00:06:57,374
That was bone-chilling.
What's the deal there?
151
00:06:57,375 --> 00:06:59,543
- Nothing, there was no deal.
- Oh, please.
152
00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:02,046
There was an undeniable
sexual energy in that room.
153
00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:03,756
I thought I was in Latin America.
154
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:05,132
But I know, I know.
155
00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:06,717
You're a gentleman,
you don't kiss and tell.
156
00:07:06,718 --> 00:07:08,385
We didn't kiss.
157
00:07:08,386 --> 00:07:11,473
So, you wanted to, but she said no?
158
00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:14,433
Oh.
159
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,894
She wanted to, but you said no.
160
00:07:16,895 --> 00:07:18,187
How are you doing this?
161
00:07:18,188 --> 00:07:19,814
It's all in the microexpressions.
162
00:07:20,523 --> 00:07:21,815
Come on now, give me the...
163
00:07:21,816 --> 00:07:23,734
Give me the goss,
and we'll get onto your thing.
164
00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:27,363
No, I'm here because I wanna make sure
that Katie's job is safe.
165
00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:30,991
Well, her job is absolutely not safe.
She burned down a historic faculty house.
166
00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:32,534
That was an accident!
167
00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:34,745
She also assaulted a professor
down at the police precinct?
168
00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:36,288
That was on purpose.
169
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:37,831
To be clear, I like Katie.
170
00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:39,208
But I am also tasked
171
00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:43,545
with protecting this institution,
and I'm struggling with that.
172
00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:44,630
Oh!
173
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:46,340
Good news. Struggle's over.
174
00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:48,008
Katie resigned.
175
00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:49,678
No, she didn't.
176
00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:54,015
Wow, that is big font.
177
00:07:55,684 --> 00:07:59,895
Let me talk to her before you do anything.
Please. As a friend?
178
00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:02,231
Friends share secrets, Greg.
179
00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:03,274
Really?
180
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:08,154
Alright.
181
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,074
I think Dylan found me charming.
182
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:15,286
- Now, we're cooking, Greg.
- We're so not cooking.
183
00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:20,082
Ah.
184
00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:22,042
Privet, mamochka.
185
00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:23,794
What happened to your eye and pants?
186
00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:28,590
Funny story about that.
I was walking down Stone Hill, and I fell.
187
00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:29,842
- Hilarious.
- Yeah.
188
00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,510
So, I got your text. What's up? You okay?
189
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:34,179
Yes. I told you I was pregnant, right?
190
00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:35,431
Mm-hmm.
191
00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:36,974
No one gets my jokes.
192
00:08:36,975 --> 00:08:40,519
Listen, I just want you to know,
Sunny, that it's such a big decision.
193
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:41,937
And whatever it is you decide to do...
194
00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:43,023
I'm keeping it.
195
00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:45,941
Oh. Great.
196
00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:49,028
I know there are a million reasons
I shouldn't have this baby.
197
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:50,446
I was supposed to go to Burning Man.
198
00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:52,114
I think you'd love Burning Man.
199
00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:54,617
But no matter how hard I try
to not want it...
200
00:08:55,744 --> 00:08:56,994
I find that I still do.
201
00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:58,371
Absolutely.
202
00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:01,498
Okay, okay. I'm sorry.
203
00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:03,792
That's... This is... It's just...
This is a lot.
204
00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:06,336
I know. It's a lot for me, too.
205
00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:08,839
But I've got an interview
206
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:10,466
for an internship in, like, an hour.
207
00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:13,010
So, if you could just
pretend to be all in...
208
00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:14,636
- Oh.
- I'd really appreciate that.
209
00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:17,097
I am, 100%.
210
00:09:17,098 --> 00:09:19,851
Ah, it feels like 80, but I'll take it.
211
00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:27,232
And now, my mom
has to go to the hospital again.
212
00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:29,109
So, we have to do
all this kind of testing,
213
00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:30,652
and she hates needles.
214
00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:32,488
- It's, like, really stressful...
- That's amazing. BRB.
215
00:09:32,489 --> 00:09:34,573
It just like... Okay, yeah.
216
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,450
Oh! Hey, Professor Bates.
217
00:09:36,451 --> 00:09:38,160
What is going on with your pants?
218
00:09:38,161 --> 00:09:40,370
- Whatever it is, I love it.
- Has it ever felt like
219
00:09:40,371 --> 00:09:43,625
everything you've ever worked for
is just slipping through your fingers?
220
00:09:44,626 --> 00:09:46,126
- Yeah.
- You know, I was gonna spend
221
00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:49,671
the next six months working on my book.
222
00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:51,215
I mean, I'm not kidding myself.
223
00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:53,133
I know that,
I know that geopolitical nonfiction
224
00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:55,427
isn't exactly the recipe
for a sexy bestseller,
225
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:56,970
but I just think the people
who would love it
226
00:09:56,971 --> 00:09:58,847
- would really love it.
- I would love it.
227
00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:01,600
Instead, I'll be making
runs to Costco for...
228
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,894
rotisserie chicken in a Toyota Sienna.
229
00:10:03,895 --> 00:10:05,312
Oh, my mom has a Sienna.
230
00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:07,147
You can open the trunk with your foot.
231
00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:08,733
Ah.
232
00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:13,237
I'm sorry to dump all this
on your shoulders...
233
00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:15,155
- Gina.
- Gina. Yeah.
234
00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:16,908
You can dump anything on my shoulders.
235
00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:19,243
Beg your pardon?
236
00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:20,537
Not you, Roland, sorry.
237
00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:24,373
Hello. Right.
238
00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:28,127
So, I go down to the front desk
because I locked myself out again.
239
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:31,588
- Yeah.
- And they hand me a ladle
240
00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:35,259
with a key on it
that opens all of the doors.
241
00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:37,761
- How cute is this town?
- I know what you're doing.
242
00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:40,472
- Don't bother, my mind is made up.
- Not doing anything.
243
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:42,141
New England, believe the hype.
244
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:43,934
Oh my gosh, what is this?
245
00:10:43,935 --> 00:10:45,519
It's a year-round Christmas store.
246
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:49,064
It is a year-round Christmas store.
How can it stay in business?
247
00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:50,566
Because it has amazing hot chocolate.
248
00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:52,359
Dad, I need to go somewhere
249
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:54,361
so I can have a fresh start
without all the noise.
250
00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:55,404
Are you kidding me?
251
00:10:55,405 --> 00:10:56,530
Dad.
252
00:10:56,531 --> 00:10:57,823
Oh, my God.
253
00:10:57,824 --> 00:11:00,742
They give you a peppermint stick
to stir it with.
254
00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:03,120
Do you think I don't know about
the fucking peppermint sticks?
255
00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:05,455
I've lived here for three years.
I love those sticks.
256
00:11:05,456 --> 00:11:08,751
Then, don't give up
just because of one tiny little setback.
257
00:11:09,544 --> 00:11:11,879
Okay, several major, terrible setbacks.
258
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,672
Are you kidding?
259
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:16,049
Mom left you five years ago,
and you gave up like that.
260
00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:18,260
At least I'm planning on starting over.
261
00:11:18,261 --> 00:11:21,681
I'm not moving to Florida
to hide from life, it's pathetic.
262
00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:24,808
- Mm.
- Oh, my God.
263
00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:26,268
That was way too mean. I'm sorry.
264
00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:28,521
- It's okay.
- I'm sorry, that was so mean.
265
00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:35,445
By the way, I'm not hiding.
266
00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:39,114
I am also collecting shells,
267
00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:42,451
and I'm thinking about joining a cult.
268
00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:44,703
I'm expanding The Ludlow Review.
269
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:46,663
Instead of one issue,
I'm putting together two.
270
00:11:46,664 --> 00:11:49,791
Winter and spring.
I need your budgetary approval.
271
00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:52,544
What an unladylike way to ask.
272
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,755
The new student center
drained the endowment,
273
00:11:54,756 --> 00:11:56,548
so the purse strings
are fairly tight right now.
274
00:11:56,549 --> 00:12:00,636
I'm sure they are, but the Review
is a cornerstone of the arts program.
275
00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:04,473
The poetry department is one of the things
that attracts students to the institution.
276
00:12:04,474 --> 00:12:07,017
Oh, I know, it's huge.
All the freshmen show up
277
00:12:07,018 --> 00:12:08,895
wearing the jerseys
of their favorite poets.
278
00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:10,979
E.E. Cummings!
279
00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:13,523
This prehistoric fucker.
280
00:12:13,524 --> 00:12:15,525
Hey, let's go.
Cristle said you got 20 minutes
281
00:12:15,526 --> 00:12:17,110
- for a coffee walk.
- Fifteen!
282
00:12:17,111 --> 00:12:19,655
- Thank you, Cristle.
- I just got into it with Riggs,
283
00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:21,240
and I need to tell you about it,
just in case
284
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,116
he tries to undercut me
at your little dinner tonight.
285
00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:25,744
Yeah, fine, fine.
But then I wanna hear
286
00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:28,538
every sordid detail about
you throwing yourself at Greg.
287
00:12:28,539 --> 00:12:30,207
- Excuse me?
- I respect it.
288
00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:33,419
Shoot your shot. I would.
The man's a silver fox, for God's sake.
289
00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:36,838
I know I've only been here
a couple of days,
290
00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:38,840
but I am really gonna miss this place.
291
00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:40,593
I never took the cock.
292
00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:44,054
Well, I'm sure that is a fun topic
293
00:12:44,055 --> 00:12:46,056
for you and your gal pal friends,
but I don't think
294
00:12:46,057 --> 00:12:47,349
- I wanna hear about that.
- Come on.
295
00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:48,767
It's the weather vane.
296
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,644
- Oh!
- It's a tradition here.
297
00:12:50,645 --> 00:12:52,187
One of the professors takes that,
298
00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:54,314
hides it on the campus,
and then if a student finds it,
299
00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:56,483
everyone gets the day off.
300
00:12:56,484 --> 00:12:58,277
I just wish I'd done it once.
301
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,696
Honey, then just stay and do it.
302
00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:02,865
Yeah? Come on.
303
00:13:03,992 --> 00:13:04,993
Wow.
304
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:10,206
I've never seen her look like that.
305
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:13,041
At least now we know
what makes her special.
306
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:15,919
- Dude. What?
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
307
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,088
You're the one who said
it would make more sense
308
00:13:18,089 --> 00:13:21,008
if you knew how she was special,
and now we know.
309
00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:23,468
Don't let that derail you.
You are a rock star.
310
00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:25,345
- You keep saying that, Dad, but I'm not.
- You are a rock star.
311
00:13:25,346 --> 00:13:26,596
- Yeah, you are.
- I'm a loser.
312
00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:28,307
No, honey. Gosh, you're not...
313
00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:30,600
- Sweetie, you're not a loser.
- I am a loser.
314
00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:32,602
And I'm done with this place, okay?
Go get your cocoa.
315
00:13:32,603 --> 00:13:34,438
I know that's what you've been
thinking about, anyway.
316
00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:37,108
I'm not thinking about a cocoa, honey.
317
00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:44,448
Walt. She's in. Katie's not leaving.
318
00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:47,075
- Oh, that's great news, Greg.
- Here you go.
319
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:50,037
- Thank you, Beverly.
- Yeah.
320
00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:52,539
Definitely an issue there.
321
00:13:52,540 --> 00:13:54,041
- Happy about Katie.
- Ah.
322
00:13:54,042 --> 00:13:56,543
The local police officer
is somewhat overzealous,
323
00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:59,463
but I'll just have him to the hothouse
and I will talk to him.
324
00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:02,758
Katie is going to have to write
an apology to the board, but...
325
00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:05,385
Let's clean up our trash,
please, boys and girls.
326
00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:07,929
But she can blame
the whole thing on women stuff.
327
00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:09,639
Hormones, wrong meds.
328
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:11,767
Mm, she will love that.
329
00:14:11,768 --> 00:14:15,103
And after a short suspension,
she will be good to go.
330
00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:18,357
Thank you. Very grateful. Thank you, Walt.
331
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:21,276
Did you know Teddy Roosevelt
saved American football?
332
00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:23,779
- No.
- In 1905,
333
00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:25,906
twenty college football players died.
334
00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:27,741
Teddy summoned all of the coaches
335
00:14:27,742 --> 00:14:29,951
down to the White House,
where he helped evolve the game,
336
00:14:29,952 --> 00:14:31,661
saving America's pastime.
337
00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:33,205
Do you know why I'm telling you this?
338
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:35,374
No, but I bet it'll hit me later.
339
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:38,043
Our finest president
wasn't being selfless.
340
00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:40,003
He wanted his son to play for Harvard
341
00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:42,507
without getting his skull cracked. He...
342
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:44,842
got something out of it.
343
00:14:46,803 --> 00:14:50,138
Walt, if there is ever anything
that I can do for you,
344
00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:51,431
say the word.
345
00:14:51,432 --> 00:14:53,183
Take the writer-in-residence gig.
346
00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:55,227
- Oh... no.
- Come on.
347
00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:57,104
It's just till the end of the semester.
348
00:14:57,105 --> 00:14:59,898
It'll be a feather in my cap
to have a bestselling author
349
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,650
that the parents have actually heard of.
350
00:15:01,651 --> 00:15:03,652
- Very flattering, but.
- Do me a favor, Greg.
351
00:15:03,653 --> 00:15:07,781
Take a look at that. Your ex-wife's name
is on our brand-new student center.
352
00:15:07,782 --> 00:15:09,908
You are practically family here.
353
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,493
Mm, that's a stretch.
354
00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:15,872
Plus, I'm not really
offering you a choice.
355
00:15:15,873 --> 00:15:17,792
This is a deal point.
356
00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:20,378
- Really?
- Really.
357
00:15:27,301 --> 00:15:29,845
My hand is not usually this warm.
358
00:15:29,846 --> 00:15:31,597
It's because of the hot cocoa.
359
00:15:33,891 --> 00:15:35,308
Sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Alright.
360
00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:36,185
Settle down.
361
00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:40,481
I just had the funniest,
crazy thing. It's...
362
00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:45,235
Hello. So, when we left off,
363
00:15:45,236 --> 00:15:48,781
Lenin was about to overthrow
the Romanov dynasty...
364
00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:54,995
So sorry, the maddest thing just happened.
365
00:15:54,996 --> 00:15:58,165
I have a friend, Roland.
He's actually my old roommate at uni.
366
00:15:58,166 --> 00:15:59,667
Oh, you went to Cambridge, right?
367
00:16:00,585 --> 00:16:03,170
Yes, I did. Someone's been listening.
368
00:16:03,171 --> 00:16:08,383
He wants me, little old Archie,
to be a talking head on BBC News tomorrow.
369
00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:13,638
Apparently, I am a "major voice
in UK-Russian relations."
370
00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:15,474
Not my words, Your Honor.
371
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:17,142
Oh, man. I mean, I can't.
372
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:18,727
We've got class. I couldn't.
373
00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:19,769
- What?
- Yeah. Oh, no.
374
00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:20,937
I couldn't do that to you guys.
375
00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:22,355
- You have to do it.
- I shouldn't.
376
00:16:22,356 --> 00:16:23,690
- Come on! Yes.
- Should I?
377
00:16:23,691 --> 00:16:25,066
Yes!
378
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:27,068
- Yeah? What do you think?
- Yeah.
379
00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:28,653
- Liv?
- Yeah, you're gonna slay.
380
00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:30,156
Absolutely. Benji, what do you reckon?
381
00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:32,783
Shut the fuck up, Benji. Come on, mate.
382
00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:34,994
So, good. Good, yeah? Good?
383
00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:41,124
Thanks for letting me pretend
that I needed to be convinced, anyway.
384
00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:43,627
Okay, let's get back to Comrade Lenin
385
00:16:43,628 --> 00:16:46,088
and slaughtering those bloody
Romanov girls, then, shall we?
386
00:17:01,646 --> 00:17:03,563
- Here you go, guys.
- Ooh, bacon!
387
00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:04,898
Enjoy.
388
00:17:04,899 --> 00:17:06,234
Thanks, dude.
389
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:15,034
- You good, man?
- Ah, I don't know, Tommy.
390
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:20,288
My daughter's going through something.
She's not handling it well.
391
00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:21,998
Yeah, I meant, are you done?
392
00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:23,750
Oh, yes. Yeah, you can...
393
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:25,627
You can give it to
your animal friends over there.
394
00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:26,545
Sweet.
395
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:29,130
- Gentlemen.
- Mm.
396
00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:30,633
Mm. Ketchup.
397
00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:33,051
Maybe I'm just not the greatest dad.
398
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:35,595
Oh, we're still going. Okay.
399
00:17:35,596 --> 00:17:37,973
Yeah, what'd you do?
400
00:17:37,974 --> 00:17:40,141
- Like, neglect her?
- No.
401
00:17:40,142 --> 00:17:42,269
- Were you an alcoholic?
- What? No.
402
00:17:42,270 --> 00:17:44,271
- Did you, like, abuse her?
- My God, no!
403
00:17:44,272 --> 00:17:45,230
- Smack her around a little bit?
- No.
404
00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:46,147
- No judgment.
- No.
405
00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:48,024
There should be judgment with that.
Thank you, guys.
406
00:17:48,025 --> 00:17:49,776
- I can handle it from here.
- Yeah, we're good, we don't...
407
00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:51,236
We don't need your help, we're good.
408
00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:53,656
- You, too.
- Yeah. Of course.
409
00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:57,118
- Well, well.
- Oh.
410
00:17:58,077 --> 00:17:59,245
Thank goodness. A sane person.
411
00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:02,038
Did you tell Walt
I tried to have sex with you?
412
00:18:02,039 --> 00:18:04,709
Mm, no. Well, hi.
413
00:18:05,543 --> 00:18:07,002
No.
414
00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:10,880
Not verbally.
Have you ever heard of microexpressions?
415
00:18:10,881 --> 00:18:17,012
So, you didn't say, and I quote,
"Dylan found me quite charming"?
416
00:18:17,013 --> 00:18:18,346
What?
417
00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:20,307
Yes, I did, I said that.
418
00:18:20,308 --> 00:18:23,476
I said those exact words,
but not in a braggy way.
419
00:18:23,477 --> 00:18:24,979
Say it in a non-braggy way.
420
00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:29,024
Dylan found me quite charming.
421
00:18:29,025 --> 00:18:30,442
No human being talks like that.
422
00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:34,070
I did brag.
I was practically beating my chest.
423
00:18:34,071 --> 00:18:35,989
I'm sorry.
424
00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:38,366
- How can I make it up to you?
- Buy me breakfast.
425
00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:40,870
Done. Tommy? Tommy, I need you.
426
00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:47,627
Oh, bollocks.
427
00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:51,713
Ah, cock in hell.
428
00:18:51,714 --> 00:18:53,466
But what do we trade it for?
429
00:18:54,675 --> 00:18:57,510
I keep answering for you,
and I don't want to keep doing that.
430
00:18:57,511 --> 00:18:59,597
I feel like I'm screaming into a well.
431
00:19:01,766 --> 00:19:03,934
You know, Elizabeth was right.
432
00:19:05,394 --> 00:19:08,563
Anytime Katie had a problem,
I would swoop in.
433
00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:10,315
- I am a swooper.
- Mm.
434
00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:12,609
So, you were basically
always there for her?
435
00:19:12,610 --> 00:19:13,818
- Okay.
- Shit.
436
00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:15,570
- Is she okay?
- It was too much.
437
00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:19,949
Now, she does not have the toolset
to deal with adversity.
438
00:19:19,950 --> 00:19:22,827
She's gonna leave,
and there is nothing I can do about it.
439
00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:24,621
Greg, I wanna tell you a story.
440
00:19:24,622 --> 00:19:26,581
It isn't about Teddy Roosevelt, is it?
441
00:19:26,582 --> 00:19:28,583
No. It's about me.
442
00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:30,251
- Oh, good.
- When I was a kid,
443
00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:32,337
I got accepted
into the University of Georgia.
444
00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:34,005
- Mm, the Bulldogs.
- Mm-hmm.
445
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:35,757
Twenty minutes from my home. No-brainer.
446
00:19:35,758 --> 00:19:37,801
But then I also got into Brown.
447
00:19:37,802 --> 00:19:40,387
And that's super far away.
448
00:19:40,388 --> 00:19:42,347
And I was scared
that all of the other kids
449
00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:43,723
were gonna be smarter than I was.
450
00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:46,184
- Mm-hmm.
- So, I chose Georgia.
451
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:48,520
One morning, my dad
plops two tickets into my lap
452
00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:50,689
nonstop to Providence, Rhode Island.
453
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,440
Neither of us had been out of the state,
454
00:19:52,441 --> 00:19:55,568
and I was just super excited
to go on a trip, so off we went.
455
00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:58,697
Yeah, we traveled all the time
when Katie was a kid.
456
00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:01,366
She's been everywhere. She loved Prague.
457
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:02,785
She used to call it "Pwag."
458
00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:06,037
- You weren't done, were you?
- When we got to Providence...
459
00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:06,996
Okay.
460
00:20:06,997 --> 00:20:09,416
Instantly, I knew I had to go to Brown.
461
00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:11,126
And so, I did.
462
00:20:11,127 --> 00:20:13,837
- Hmm.
- Be like my dad.
463
00:20:13,838 --> 00:20:15,213
Find a way in.
464
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:16,673
Doesn't matter what it is,
465
00:20:16,674 --> 00:20:18,634
just something to let
her know you give a shit.
466
00:20:29,145 --> 00:20:32,565
Come on. Come on. Come on.
467
00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:38,403
What am I doing? This is stupid.
468
00:20:38,404 --> 00:20:39,905
Oh. Come on.
469
00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:42,658
No, no, no, no, no, no!
470
00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:47,037
I got it!
471
00:20:47,997 --> 00:20:49,372
- Ouch!
- Okay, quit squirming.
472
00:20:49,373 --> 00:20:51,624
- I'm almost done.
- God.
473
00:20:51,625 --> 00:20:54,961
Katie burned all my clothes,
she punched me in the eye,
474
00:20:54,962 --> 00:20:56,546
and I'm the one who's
gonna look like an idiot
475
00:20:56,547 --> 00:20:58,798
in front of millions of people.
It's just not fair.
476
00:20:58,799 --> 00:21:00,176
So, Katie did that?
477
00:21:02,303 --> 00:21:03,720
You didn't tell me.
478
00:21:03,721 --> 00:21:06,222
Yeah, yeah, yes. Okay, yes, fine.
479
00:21:06,223 --> 00:21:07,599
She did it, yes.
480
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,726
And this whole thing
is such a bloody mess.
481
00:21:09,727 --> 00:21:11,186
- Mm.
- Do you know, I sneak out
482
00:21:11,187 --> 00:21:13,605
of this hotel every morning
to avoid running into her dad,
483
00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:15,273
who is, of course, staying here,
484
00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:17,568
eating every single last one
of their bar nuts.
485
00:21:18,903 --> 00:21:20,361
God, that man loves nuts.
486
00:21:20,362 --> 00:21:21,946
Lots of people love nuts. I love nuts.
487
00:21:21,947 --> 00:21:23,865
God, why is this happening to me?
488
00:21:23,866 --> 00:21:25,867
Is that rhetorical,
or do you want an actual answer?
489
00:21:25,868 --> 00:21:27,452
I can take it.
490
00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:29,829
I think it's because some people see you
491
00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:32,290
as a narcissistic asshole
with a punchable face.
492
00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:34,834
- Case in point.
- Do people see me that way?
493
00:21:34,835 --> 00:21:36,127
Some people do.
494
00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:37,963
- Do you see me that way?
- No.
495
00:21:39,632 --> 00:21:40,716
Not all the time.
496
00:21:41,592 --> 00:21:44,677
I mean, you're choosing to stay at a hotel
instead of my apartment,
497
00:21:44,678 --> 00:21:48,306
and some people
might find that perplexing.
498
00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:52,353
You have a roommate, and,
you know, moving in is a big step.
499
00:21:53,103 --> 00:21:54,604
We're having a child together.
500
00:21:54,605 --> 00:21:58,316
Okay, well, if I'm such a total bastard,
why would you even wanna be with me?
501
00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:00,860
Well, at first, mostly your face.
502
00:22:00,861 --> 00:22:03,613
But then, also your mind, and that accent.
503
00:22:03,614 --> 00:22:06,408
Seriously, it's like having sex
with Paddington Bear.
504
00:22:07,952 --> 00:22:10,203
- And that does it for me.
- Well, a wise bear
505
00:22:10,204 --> 00:22:12,247
always has a marmalade sandwich
underneath his hat.
506
00:22:12,248 --> 00:22:14,666
- What are you talking about?
- It's just what the bear says.
507
00:22:14,667 --> 00:22:16,167
Look, every human is a mixed bag.
508
00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:18,044
We all have our good qualities
and our terrible ones,
509
00:22:18,045 --> 00:22:20,129
and neuroscience tells us
our brains have plasticity.
510
00:22:20,130 --> 00:22:21,798
That means through repetition
and intention,
511
00:22:21,799 --> 00:22:23,341
we decide who we're gonna become.
512
00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:25,301
And you? I think you're at a crossroads.
513
00:22:25,302 --> 00:22:27,303
But I think you are going to step up
514
00:22:27,304 --> 00:22:29,390
and become the man
I know you're capable of being.
515
00:22:30,474 --> 00:22:33,560
- And what if I don't?
- Well, then I move on.
516
00:22:33,561 --> 00:22:35,937
There, all done. Anything else?
517
00:22:35,938 --> 00:22:38,064
- A bold lip, perhaps?
- I think I'm good.
518
00:22:38,065 --> 00:22:40,860
Coward. I'm going back to class.
519
00:22:46,073 --> 00:22:47,740
Oh.
520
00:22:47,741 --> 00:22:48,826
Huh?
521
00:22:50,911 --> 00:22:53,122
- You took it?
- Yeah, I did.
522
00:22:56,208 --> 00:22:59,378
You did the one thing I never did
to make me feel worse?
523
00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:01,839
Hmm. Okay.
524
00:23:04,508 --> 00:23:05,925
Look, I know you didn't like it
525
00:23:05,926 --> 00:23:08,261
when I called you a rock star,
but you are.
526
00:23:08,262 --> 00:23:09,721
- Please don't.
- You are.
527
00:23:09,722 --> 00:23:11,306
Get over it.
528
00:23:11,307 --> 00:23:15,269
But recently, you have been doing
some stuff that's a little loser-ish.
529
00:23:15,936 --> 00:23:18,313
I know, because I have been there.
530
00:23:18,314 --> 00:23:20,189
Lack of game recognizes lack of game.
531
00:23:20,190 --> 00:23:21,275
Ugh.
532
00:23:21,984 --> 00:23:25,446
Katie, you were right about me.
I didn't bounce back.
533
00:23:26,447 --> 00:23:30,242
And I am not resilient.
And I hope I didn't pass that down to you.
534
00:23:31,452 --> 00:23:33,245
Come on. You love this place.
535
00:23:34,204 --> 00:23:37,958
The only thing you need to do to stay
is to be brave.
536
00:23:40,210 --> 00:23:42,837
And to write a letter that says
that you're mentally ill.
537
00:23:42,838 --> 00:23:44,423
- Jesus Christ.
- Ack.
538
00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:49,761
Help me write it.
539
00:23:49,762 --> 00:23:52,555
The Elizabeth Stoddard
Student Center just opened.
540
00:23:52,556 --> 00:23:53,890
You'll notice, right behind you,
541
00:23:53,891 --> 00:23:57,560
we kept the original
brick facade from 1821.
542
00:23:57,561 --> 00:23:59,854
- Cristle said you were here.
- Thank you.
543
00:23:59,855 --> 00:24:01,230
You know, I hate this damn building.
544
00:24:01,231 --> 00:24:03,149
- Ah.
- They took a classic example
545
00:24:03,150 --> 00:24:06,444
of Neo-Gothic architecture
and slapped a greenhouse on it.
546
00:24:06,445 --> 00:24:07,403
Well, they also added
547
00:24:07,404 --> 00:24:08,571
- a smashburger place.
- Exactly.
548
00:24:08,572 --> 00:24:10,782
We're sacrificing tradition for what?
549
00:24:10,783 --> 00:24:13,493
More fat kids?
We damn sure got plenty of those.
550
00:24:13,494 --> 00:24:15,078
No, no. Not out loud.
551
00:24:15,079 --> 00:24:16,913
- Thank you.
- Okay.
552
00:24:16,914 --> 00:24:18,915
What brought all this on?
553
00:24:18,916 --> 00:24:21,042
- Rough dinner with Dean Riggs.
- Mm.
554
00:24:21,043 --> 00:24:22,628
And I had to tell him
we were cutting his budget.
555
00:24:23,504 --> 00:24:26,172
It just feels like this
is my whole job now.
556
00:24:26,173 --> 00:24:27,799
People come and ask me for things
557
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:29,926
that they really care about,
I have to say no,
558
00:24:29,927 --> 00:24:31,970
and then they hold it against me.
559
00:24:31,971 --> 00:24:34,263
Okay, your real friends know
that this comes with the gig.
560
00:24:34,264 --> 00:24:36,392
- We're not gonna hold it against you.
- Hope so.
561
00:24:39,478 --> 00:24:41,479
I have to move The Ludlow Review online.
562
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:43,898
It's part of our Green Initiative.
563
00:24:43,899 --> 00:24:45,692
Every year we print it, it just winds up
564
00:24:45,693 --> 00:24:48,152
littered all over campus
like a paper factory exploded.
565
00:24:48,153 --> 00:24:49,278
Walt, you can't do that.
566
00:24:49,279 --> 00:24:51,322
So many people are gonna be upset.
567
00:24:51,323 --> 00:24:54,659
No. The 36 students who get published
will be upset.
568
00:24:54,660 --> 00:24:56,829
Some of their 72 parents, and...
569
00:24:57,955 --> 00:24:58,956
and me.
570
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,794
I read it cover to cover every year.
571
00:25:07,423 --> 00:25:09,049
I'm really sorry.
572
00:25:12,177 --> 00:25:14,721
"All of that said,
I am truly and profoundly sorry.
573
00:25:14,722 --> 00:25:16,806
My behavior was unhinged, and I..."
574
00:25:16,807 --> 00:25:19,142
- I don't love "unhinged."
- Really?
575
00:25:19,143 --> 00:25:21,185
I'm gonna use "overwhelmed."
576
00:25:21,186 --> 00:25:22,604
It's your letter.
Doesn't have to be great.
577
00:25:24,231 --> 00:25:25,732
But I love it.
578
00:25:25,733 --> 00:25:27,442
Okay, done.
579
00:25:27,443 --> 00:25:29,694
- Look at this guy.
- Mm.
580
00:25:29,695 --> 00:25:31,404
- I get to hide him, right?
- All yours.
581
00:25:31,405 --> 00:25:33,990
I'm gonna save it for when
I need a pick-me-up.
582
00:25:33,991 --> 00:25:35,783
Like, first time I see that fucker
583
00:25:35,784 --> 00:25:37,828
- pushing around a stroller.
- Mm.
584
00:25:38,954 --> 00:25:39,830
Wait, what now?
585
00:25:50,007 --> 00:25:51,841
Hi! Hi, I'm so sorry.
586
00:25:51,842 --> 00:25:54,594
- I forgot my key again.
- No problem.
587
00:25:54,595 --> 00:25:56,304
That's happening to you a lot.
588
00:25:56,305 --> 00:25:58,223
I know, I'm so mad at myself!
589
00:25:59,308 --> 00:26:00,933
How do we expect the Russian government
590
00:26:00,934 --> 00:26:03,978
to respond to this bold move
from Downing Street?
591
00:26:03,979 --> 00:26:05,980
Well, it's certainly
not going to go smoothly,
592
00:26:05,981 --> 00:26:07,648
that's for sure.
593
00:26:07,649 --> 00:26:09,651
- You got her pregnant?
- No, is that a ladle?
594
00:26:14,406 --> 00:26:15,573
Not now!
595
00:26:15,574 --> 00:26:17,200
- Mr. Bates...
- It's a big opportunity, Greg!
596
00:26:17,201 --> 00:26:18,659
You're live on the BBC.
597
00:26:18,660 --> 00:26:19,661
Ow!
598
00:26:21,789 --> 00:26:24,123
- Is that Greg?
- Yes.
599
00:26:24,124 --> 00:26:25,167
Fuck him up.
600
00:26:27,628 --> 00:26:29,128
- Oh!
- Oh, my God.
601
00:26:29,129 --> 00:26:30,214
- Oh!
- Oh!
602
00:26:31,548 --> 00:26:33,300
Eli! Eli!
603
00:26:34,134 --> 00:26:36,220
Eli, you okay? You need your inhaler?
604
00:26:48,857 --> 00:26:50,024
Hey there.
605
00:26:50,025 --> 00:26:51,443
You got a coffee walk in you?
606
00:26:52,361 --> 00:26:53,779
Can't. I'm really busy.
607
00:27:00,744 --> 00:27:02,453
- Hey.
- Hey!
608
00:27:02,454 --> 00:27:06,082
I appreciate you putting all
this unfortunate fire business to rest.
609
00:27:06,083 --> 00:27:08,794
Oh, yeah. No problem at all.
610
00:27:09,711 --> 00:27:14,132
Say, when you were in the cold plunge,
you didn't happen to see my gun, did you?
611
00:27:14,133 --> 00:27:15,508
- I did not.
- It's fine.
612
00:27:15,509 --> 00:27:17,344
I probably left it on my dash.
613
00:27:18,345 --> 00:27:20,972
Ah! Oh! No.
614
00:27:20,973 --> 00:27:22,557
I left it at the gun range.
615
00:27:22,558 --> 00:27:24,517
Best place to leave a gun.
616
00:27:24,518 --> 00:27:25,894
They're hard to keep track of.
617
00:27:30,315 --> 00:27:32,067
I thought I'd try to be less perplexing.
618
00:27:39,158 --> 00:27:40,659
I'm funnier than people think.
619
00:27:41,994 --> 00:27:43,745
Thank you. Thank you.
620
00:27:44,872 --> 00:27:46,372
Ugh, this fucking guy.
621
00:27:46,373 --> 00:27:48,166
Hello, Mo. How are you?
622
00:27:48,167 --> 00:27:49,793
What, are you moving in?
623
00:27:52,212 --> 00:27:54,881
Well, thanks for coming to see me off.
624
00:27:54,882 --> 00:27:55,883
Yeah.
625
00:27:56,925 --> 00:27:59,552
I'm not, like,
crushed that you're leaving.
626
00:27:59,553 --> 00:28:00,846
No offense.
627
00:28:02,055 --> 00:28:04,892
But I am really glad that you came.
628
00:28:05,893 --> 00:28:07,060
Me, too.
629
00:28:08,437 --> 00:28:10,480
- I love you.
- I love you back.
630
00:28:13,275 --> 00:28:14,276
Bye, Dad.
631
00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:17,029
Bye, sweetie.
632
00:28:18,530 --> 00:28:20,823
- See you Monday!
- Wait, what?
633
00:28:20,824 --> 00:28:22,451
Go, go, go!
634
00:29:25,347 --> 00:29:27,266
Bye-bye.