1
00:00:03,212 --> 00:00:05,464
[announcers chattering on TV]
2
00:00:10,636 --> 00:00:11,470
[cheering on TV]
3
00:00:11,470 --> 00:00:12,804
- There we go.
- [exclaims]
4
00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:15,724
- That's what I'm talking about.
- Finally. Geez. [sighs]
5
00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:18,060
- What's with you?
- Hmm?
6
00:00:18,060 --> 00:00:21,146
We're trying to enjoy the game
and he wants to spoil the vibe
7
00:00:21,146 --> 00:00:22,689
and talk about real stuff.
8
00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:24,483
[sighs]
9
00:00:24,483 --> 00:00:27,069
Eventually you're gonna have to talk
to your dad about how he let you down.
10
00:00:27,069 --> 00:00:28,403
Come on, man.
11
00:00:28,403 --> 00:00:29,863
I told you he sucks.
12
00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:31,698
- It's not gonna happen.
- Okay.
13
00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:34,034
It will... [sighs] ...when you're ready.
14
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:38,872
Until then, I've decided that we're both
gonna be available to you from now on.
15
00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:40,999
But I would not call Paul after 8:00 p.m.,
16
00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:44,378
because last time he answered
the phone from his bathtub with Julie.
17
00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:45,838
How big is your tub?
18
00:00:46,755 --> 00:00:47,756
Not that big.
19
00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:49,258
Ooh. My man.
20
00:00:49,258 --> 00:00:50,384
[Sean, Jimmy laugh]
21
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:53,929
But as far as your treatment is concerned,
I'm still in charge.
22
00:00:53,929 --> 00:00:58,016
Think of me as... as,
uh... as Santa, and Jimmy as--
23
00:00:58,016 --> 00:01:02,312
Do not make me an elf, Paul.
I'm s-so much bigger than you.
24
00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:03,772
You can be a reindeer.
25
00:01:03,772 --> 00:01:05,274
Not the fancy one with the red nose,
26
00:01:05,274 --> 00:01:08,193
b-but one of the randos in the back,
like Fluffer.
27
00:01:08,193 --> 00:01:10,112
Fluffer's not a reindeer, Paul.
28
00:01:10,112 --> 00:01:12,406
Fluffer and reindeer
are such different jobs.
29
00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:15,409
So, how am I supposed to deal
with working with my dad every day
30
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:16,827
until I figure this shit out?
31
00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:18,662
Just love him.
32
00:01:19,454 --> 00:01:20,831
Goodwill is everything.
33
00:01:20,831 --> 00:01:23,417
If you meet him with that
when you're ready to talk,
34
00:01:24,668 --> 00:01:26,211
it'll come from a great place.
35
00:01:27,337 --> 00:01:29,673
Oh. Game's back.
36
00:01:29,673 --> 00:01:32,301
Unless Jimmy wants me
to talk about my dad now.
37
00:01:32,301 --> 00:01:33,886
I'm guessing he wasn't much of a hugger.
38
00:01:33,886 --> 00:01:35,262
No, he wasn't.
39
00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:36,972
You two ever kiss on the lips?
40
00:01:38,557 --> 00:01:39,558
All the time.
41
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,227
- [grunts, laughs]
- [laughs]
42
00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:45,856
Oh, my God. [groans]
43
00:01:45,856 --> 00:01:46,899
- Hey.
- [patient 1] Hi.
44
00:01:46,899 --> 00:01:49,902
Sorry I'm late. I was with my mom.
She was in an accident but she's okay.
45
00:01:49,902 --> 00:01:52,279
She drove into a tow truck.
Actually, onto a tow truck.
46
00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:53,197
The good news is,
47
00:01:53,197 --> 00:01:55,741
the tow truck driver was able
to take the car straight to the shop.
48
00:01:55,741 --> 00:01:56,867
Whew.
49
00:01:56,867 --> 00:01:59,286
All right. [stammers, sighs]
50
00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:00,662
- So, um--
- [clears throat]
51
00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:01,914
Do you know what's crazy?
52
00:02:01,914 --> 00:02:04,208
Now, my sister wants me to convince
our blind-as-hell mom
53
00:02:04,208 --> 00:02:05,334
to get her eyes fixed.
54
00:02:05,334 --> 00:02:08,878
And it's like, dude,
why is it always on me?
55
00:02:08,878 --> 00:02:12,132
I taught our mom how to use a smartphone.
I got her into physical therapy.
56
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,884
I got her out of Herbalife
which was actually--
57
00:02:13,884 --> 00:02:18,305
I'm so sorry to interrupt,
but has our time started?
58
00:02:18,889 --> 00:02:22,184
We got into a huge fight last night
and I just kinda wanna get into it.
59
00:02:22,184 --> 00:02:24,436
My bad. This is your time.
60
00:02:24,436 --> 00:02:26,855
Hit me. Okay, what was the fight about?
61
00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:31,568
Well... [sighs] ...I always have gum
when he wants it but...
62
00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:33,111
[sighs]
63
00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:35,572
...he never has gum when I want it.
64
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:40,327
I don't like things in my pockets and, um...
65
00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:42,913
- [sighs]
- [clicks tongue] Never mind.
66
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:46,208
What, do you guys feel like shit now
because your stuff is so trite?
67
00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:48,043
- Yeah, a little bit.
- Yeah.
68
00:02:48,043 --> 00:02:51,296
Don't. You're paying me. So let's do this.
69
00:02:51,797 --> 00:02:53,841
- Come on, guys. Shake it off.
- [Mark sighs]
70
00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:56,051
Mark, why don't you like stuff
in your pockets?
71
00:02:56,051 --> 00:02:57,261
[sighs]
72
00:02:57,761 --> 00:02:59,054
I am not her purse!
73
00:02:59,054 --> 00:03:02,808
My cell phone, my gum, my Invisalign case.
That is not that many things.
74
00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:06,728
I'm sorry. Then we also have
the sunglasses, the protein bars
75
00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:07,896
and the chargers.
76
00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:09,147
Are you kidding me?
77
00:03:10,983 --> 00:03:12,401
Are you fucking kidding me?
78
00:03:13,110 --> 00:03:15,195
- Hey.
- I think the watercooler's broken.
79
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:17,281
Yeah? What do you think is wrong with it?
80
00:03:17,281 --> 00:03:19,408
Oh, the compressor must've slipped
and blocked the filter hinge.
81
00:03:19,408 --> 00:03:22,369
- How the fuck would I know?
- [sighs] If you're having a crap day,
82
00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:24,580
we're drinking at Liz's later,
if you wanna join us.
83
00:03:24,580 --> 00:03:26,039
Don't give me hopeful eyebrows.
84
00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:27,749
I can't control them. They're dreamers.
85
00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:31,128
Jimmy, please. I keep trying to find
nice ways to tell you that I need space.
86
00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:33,088
The ball is in my court.
87
00:03:33,088 --> 00:03:34,923
You are ball-less.
88
00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:37,759
Well, that's not entirely true.
They're sort of what got us here.
89
00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:38,719
[groans]
90
00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,012
[sighs]
91
00:03:40,596 --> 00:03:42,264
- I just miss you.
- Well, suck it.
92
00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:47,186
Cowboy boots on a baby?
93
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:49,646
Is she already a stripper?
94
00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:53,609
I'd know that judgmental tone anywhere.
95
00:03:53,609 --> 00:03:55,986
Mac? Oh, my God. Hi.
96
00:03:55,986 --> 00:03:57,571
Come here. Hey, there.
97
00:03:57,571 --> 00:04:01,366
[grunts] Ah, wow. You haven't aged a day.
98
00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:02,451
That's a good start.
99
00:04:02,451 --> 00:04:05,078
And so skinny,
you seem like you might be sick.
100
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:06,622
Oh, my God. Thank you so much.
101
00:04:06,622 --> 00:04:09,124
So, what's it been? Twenty-five years?
102
00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:11,043
Tell me everything.
What have you been up to?
103
00:04:11,043 --> 00:04:13,629
Um, so many cool things.
104
00:04:13,629 --> 00:04:15,297
Uh, having kids.
105
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:17,341
Rocks.
106
00:04:17,341 --> 00:04:19,593
Are you still taking pictures?
You were always so good at it.
107
00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:22,221
Yeah, I've actually been doing,
um, wildlife photography.
108
00:04:22,221 --> 00:04:24,806
- It's not a big deal. It's, you know--
- Hello.
109
00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:28,310
[sighs] How did us getting wine
and snacks together
110
00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:31,104
turn into you handing me a list and me
finding everything and paying for it?
111
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,397
Because that's how I shop.
112
00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:33,982
Then don't get mad at me
if I got the wrong cheese.
113
00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:36,568
- Did you get the wrong cheese? Ah.
- I got the wrong cheese.
114
00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:39,613
- Hey. I'm Jimmy. I'm Liz's errand boy.
- Hey, I'm Mac.
115
00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,532
- Short for Macaulay?
- No.
116
00:04:41,532 --> 00:04:42,783
Oh, bummer.
117
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,618
Uh, how do you two know each other?
118
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:46,328
- Old friends.
- Sex.
119
00:04:46,328 --> 00:04:47,746
Two of my favorite things.
120
00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:51,625
Um, well, it was great to see you.
121
00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:53,043
You too, Lizzie.
122
00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:54,962
Hmm.
123
00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:58,924
Don't say it. Don't say it.
124
00:05:02,386 --> 00:05:03,720
- Lizzie.
- [laughs]
125
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:06,515
- [laughing] I told you not to say it.
- [laughs]
126
00:05:06,515 --> 00:05:10,394
I'm not being weird.
I promise nothing is wrong.
127
00:05:10,394 --> 00:05:12,396
Are you sure?
'Cause you can tell me anything.
128
00:05:12,396 --> 00:05:15,357
The only thing I can't handle is a liar,
'cause I don't do secrets.
129
00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:16,650
I'm in my honesty era.
130
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:20,696
Hey. [stammers] Uh... [scoffs]
...Summer, is that my shirt?
131
00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:22,447
I found it in a basket.
132
00:05:22,948 --> 00:05:25,742
I got glitter on it.
My B, pimp. I'll go change.
133
00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:28,412
- Thanks, Summer. [sighs]
- No problem.
134
00:05:28,412 --> 00:05:31,123
- Oh, my God. You hate her.
- I don't hate her.
135
00:05:31,123 --> 00:05:34,126
I just hate everything
she says and does. [chuckles]
136
00:05:34,126 --> 00:05:35,586
I love this for you.
137
00:05:35,586 --> 00:05:37,337
I wish Gaby was here,
138
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:40,465
but thanks to Jimmy's sad
and selfish penis,
139
00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:42,301
she's once again not coming.
140
00:05:42,301 --> 00:05:44,303
My penis is neither of those things.
141
00:05:44,303 --> 00:05:46,889
It's optimistic
and it always puts others first.
142
00:05:46,889 --> 00:05:48,473
So, your penis is like Elmo?
143
00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:50,726
Same color. Much deeper voice though.
144
00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:53,353
- Tickle me. Tickle me.
- [Brian] Ooh. [chuckles]
145
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:54,396
Stop. No, stop. Stop that.
146
00:05:54,396 --> 00:05:56,648
- My dick sounds like André the Giant.
- [Brian, Derek laugh]
147
00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:58,942
[imitates André the Giant]
Hello, lady. Anybody want a penis?
148
00:05:58,942 --> 00:06:02,154
Uh, would anyone like some wrong cheese?
149
00:06:02,154 --> 00:06:04,364
I'll take some, Lizzie.
150
00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:06,783
We ran into this guy who calls her Lizzie.
151
00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:07,701
[gasps]
152
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:11,747
Oh, you, uh... you ran into Mac?
153
00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:14,082
Were you gonna tell me?
154
00:06:14,666 --> 00:06:16,210
It was nothing.
155
00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:18,337
What? I... I don't know
what's going on here.
156
00:06:18,337 --> 00:06:21,840
- I didn't think anything bothered Derek.
- No, I'm not jealous.
157
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:24,801
I mean, I don't care about any
of the people she slept with before me.
158
00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:27,971
Not her college boyfriend,
not Lenny Kravitz...
159
00:06:27,971 --> 00:06:29,306
Whoa. Really?
160
00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:30,724
Well, I mean,
I thought he was Lenny Kravitz
161
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:33,393
and he didn't correct me
for quite some time.
162
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:37,814
There's... [sighs] ...something about
this Mac guy that just gets under my skin.
163
00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:39,107
Here we go.
164
00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:42,152
If she asked him to run away with her,
he wouldn't think twice.
165
00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:44,446
Gone. Poof. Puff of smoke.
166
00:06:44,446 --> 00:06:48,408
- And it's so disrespectful, right?
- Yeah.
167
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:49,493
Right.
168
00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:52,037
- Dude.
- I'm sorry.
169
00:06:52,037 --> 00:06:54,331
I'm-I'm really... Seriously, I'm sorry.
170
00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:57,376
- Hey, Dad.
- Oh, good. You found your wallet.
171
00:06:57,376 --> 00:07:01,213
Yeah. Unfortunately, it still does
not have a credit card inside of it.
172
00:07:01,213 --> 00:07:03,340
Can I borrow some money
for some school stuff?
173
00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:04,341
What kinda school stuff?
174
00:07:04,341 --> 00:07:05,425
A smash burger.
175
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,344
- That sounds about right.
- Yeah.
176
00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:08,595
- Hey.
- Hi.
177
00:07:09,555 --> 00:07:11,390
I'm sorry. I had to.
178
00:07:11,390 --> 00:07:13,559
- You had to...
- You slut!
179
00:07:13,559 --> 00:07:15,352
- [Brian] Whoa!
- [shrieks, grunts]
180
00:07:15,352 --> 00:07:16,311
- How could you?
- [Jimmy] Shit!
181
00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:18,313
- [Alice, Summer screaming, grunting]
- Hey, easy!
182
00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:19,439
- Ow! My boob!
- [screaming]
183
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,775
- Hey, Summer. Use your words.
- [screams]
184
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:24,611
You said he looked like one of the little
statue boys who pee in fountains
185
00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:26,154
and you fucked him anyway.
186
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:29,575
[Connor] Summer, hold up.
187
00:07:29,575 --> 00:07:30,701
[Summer] Do not follow me!
188
00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:33,620
- [Jimmy] You okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.
189
00:07:34,830 --> 00:07:35,831
[sighs]
190
00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:38,333
[exhales deeply]
191
00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:40,335
Well, sad for Connor.
192
00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:43,213
Happy for me.
193
00:07:43,881 --> 00:07:47,342
["Frightening Fishes"
by Benjamin Gibbard playing]
194
00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:20,626
{\an8}Hey. How's the boob?
195
00:08:20,626 --> 00:08:21,752
{\an8}It hurts.
196
00:08:21,752 --> 00:08:22,669
{\an8}[Jimmy sighs]
197
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:24,922
{\an8}- This is why I never fuck with redheads.
- [sighs]
198
00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:26,924
{\an8}My hands are covered in glitter.
199
00:08:27,633 --> 00:08:30,177
{\an8}- [sighs] I deserved that.
- [sighs]
200
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,554
{\an8}I'm really such a piece of shit.
201
00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:34,139
{\an8}Hey. Don't go there.
202
00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:37,558
{\an8}[breathes deeply] I wanna start
this conversation... [clears throat]
203
00:08:37,558 --> 00:08:39,977
{\an8}...by letting you know
that I am a sex-positive dad.
204
00:08:39,977 --> 00:08:41,605
{\an8}Gross. No, we're not doing that.
205
00:08:41,605 --> 00:08:42,856
{\an8}Thank God. [sighs]
206
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:45,192
{\an8}What do you think's going on?
207
00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:47,903
{\an8}I mean, you never really seemed
that interested in Connor.
208
00:08:48,946 --> 00:08:50,781
{\an8}I don't wanna talk about it.
209
00:08:51,323 --> 00:08:52,157
{\an8}Okay.
210
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:57,287
{\an8}I did kinda feel like we were starting
to get to the point
211
00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:58,872
{\an8}where we could share anything.
212
00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:02,125
{\an8}Do you really believe that or
are you just trying to guilt me right now?
213
00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:03,460
{\an8}Can it be both?
214
00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:06,463
{\an8}[sighs]
215
00:09:07,422 --> 00:09:10,092
{\an8}This is the part I normally storm away
but I'm in pain.
216
00:09:10,092 --> 00:09:11,468
{\an8}Do you want me to do it for you?
217
00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:14,096
{\an8}- Sure.
- [imitates Alice] God, Dad.
218
00:09:17,099 --> 00:09:18,016
{\an8}[scoffs]
219
00:09:20,102 --> 00:09:21,854
{\an8}And you know, I would come home more
220
00:09:21,854 --> 00:09:24,022
{\an8}if my sister wasn't always
up my ass all the time.
221
00:09:24,022 --> 00:09:26,817
{\an8}You know, former addicts are always
just so judgy. It's like, shit.
222
00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:31,822
{\an8}So, you grew up taking care of an addict
and then you married one.
223
00:09:32,531 --> 00:09:34,199
{\an8}[chuckles] Interesting.
224
00:09:34,199 --> 00:09:36,660
{\an8}Cool observation, Paul.
Definitely never thought of that.
225
00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:38,328
{\an8}Look, I get the family shit.
226
00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:40,789
{\an8}My daughter comes to town to give a speech
227
00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:45,502
{\an8}and now she, my cardboard son-in-law
and my ex-wife are in my home.
228
00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:48,797
{\an8}I assume they plan on murdering me
with small talk.
229
00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:52,009
{\an8}What's your ex-wife like?
Is she a hot piece of ass like Julie?
230
00:09:52,009 --> 00:09:53,719
Nobody's as hot as Julie.
231
00:09:53,719 --> 00:09:56,597
That's the correct answer,
and I will report that back to my queen.
232
00:09:56,597 --> 00:09:59,433
- My man! [laughs] She's so hot.
- [laughs]
233
00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:02,019
Um, listen, I know you said
you needed some space.
234
00:10:02,019 --> 00:10:03,270
- I don't mean to cross--
- [Paul] Oh. Uh,
235
00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:05,731
could you just stop talking
for just a second?
236
00:10:05,731 --> 00:10:07,608
- Why?
- So I can leave.
237
00:10:08,192 --> 00:10:10,694
I am so bored with this shit.
238
00:10:10,694 --> 00:10:12,613
- Okay.
- Everyone is.
239
00:10:14,156 --> 00:10:16,992
Who's everyone, Paul?
It's just three of us who work here.
240
00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:20,162
Gaby, look, I need some help with Alice.
241
00:10:20,162 --> 00:10:22,289
Mm-hmm. I heard about that tit punch.
242
00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:25,042
That's crazy Connor
has two hot girls fighting over him.
243
00:10:25,042 --> 00:10:27,711
That poor little cherub
has no idea he peaked at 19.
244
00:10:27,711 --> 00:10:29,171
[chuckles]
245
00:10:29,171 --> 00:10:31,673
I just wish I knew why Alice did it,
you know? But she won't talk to me.
246
00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:32,966
Tell me you didn't guilt her.
247
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,510
I don't guilt children.
248
00:10:35,427 --> 00:10:36,678
I guilted her so bad.
249
00:10:36,678 --> 00:10:38,180
Why do you always
have to make shit about you?
250
00:10:38,180 --> 00:10:39,890
You wanna be friends again?
251
00:10:39,890 --> 00:10:42,267
Real friends tell each other hard truths,
so here you go.
252
00:10:42,267 --> 00:10:46,605
All Alice needs is to feel loved,
and maybe take her out and cheer her up
253
00:10:46,605 --> 00:10:48,398
so she doesn't feel like
the whole world is ending.
254
00:10:48,398 --> 00:10:50,484
You don't need to know why
she bonked her best friend's boyfriend.
255
00:10:50,484 --> 00:10:51,443
She knows why she did it.
256
00:10:51,443 --> 00:10:53,820
Besides, nobody's hiring you
to teach a master class
257
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,739
on how to choose
an appropriate fuck buddy.
258
00:10:57,366 --> 00:11:00,452
I know you're just being mean
but that would be a super popular class.
259
00:11:01,370 --> 00:11:04,498
["Kevin's Car" playing]
260
00:11:04,498 --> 00:11:05,916
You didn't have to drive me.
261
00:11:05,916 --> 00:11:07,417
Are you kidding? I wanted to.
262
00:11:08,210 --> 00:11:10,295
That's what you decided to wear
on your first day of school?
263
00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:12,965
You look like a police sketch. [chuckles]
264
00:11:12,965 --> 00:11:15,050
I'm sure Summer already told everybody
about what I did,
265
00:11:15,050 --> 00:11:17,219
so it's time to go be the school slut.
266
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:19,012
You know what?
267
00:11:19,513 --> 00:11:20,931
Put your... Put your seat belt back on.
268
00:11:20,931 --> 00:11:22,391
What? Why?
269
00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:25,269
[music continues]
270
00:11:25,269 --> 00:11:26,186
Okay.
271
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:28,230
- [Jimmy] Whoo!
- [school bell rings]
272
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,487
[Alice] A tattoo? Really?
273
00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:37,948
You're turning 18 in a few weeks.
274
00:11:37,948 --> 00:11:39,867
I figure you're gonna get one
whether I say yes or not.
275
00:11:39,867 --> 00:11:41,118
Definitely.
276
00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:44,454
Though, I was gonna get it somewhere
you'd never see.
277
00:11:46,290 --> 00:11:47,791
For all I know, you did that already.
278
00:11:47,791 --> 00:11:48,876
[laughs]
279
00:11:50,169 --> 00:11:51,628
You laughed way too hard at that.
280
00:11:52,254 --> 00:11:53,255
[guests chattering]
281
00:11:53,255 --> 00:11:55,591
Here you go, grumpy. Eat something.
282
00:11:56,925 --> 00:11:58,594
[Paul's ex-wife]
Well, you must be a saint.
283
00:11:58,594 --> 00:12:02,306
The only thing I can think of worse
than being in a relationship with Paul
284
00:12:02,306 --> 00:12:04,558
is being in a relationship
with an old Paul.
285
00:12:04,558 --> 00:12:06,852
[chuckles] Luckily, he's afraid of me.
286
00:12:07,477 --> 00:12:08,478
Congrats.
287
00:12:09,146 --> 00:12:11,023
There he is.
288
00:12:11,023 --> 00:12:12,482
[Paul's ex-wife laughs]
289
00:12:12,482 --> 00:12:14,401
- [grunts]
- [doorbell rings]
290
00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:17,154
How cool is it that Susie and Julie
are hitting it off?
291
00:12:17,154 --> 00:12:18,405
So cool, Dave.
292
00:12:19,948 --> 00:12:21,825
Hope they talk about how I fuck.
293
00:12:22,701 --> 00:12:26,955
- Right. Uh, well... So, how are--
- Get me a glass of red wine, will you?
294
00:12:27,706 --> 00:12:29,291
Yep. Coming up.
295
00:12:29,291 --> 00:12:31,001
[Julie] I'm lucky for every hour
I get past sunset.
296
00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:32,586
Here's Kevin.
297
00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:33,837
Why does he call you Kevin?
298
00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:37,132
He's trying to keep me grounded,
but it's not working.
299
00:12:37,132 --> 00:12:39,801
- Hello, beautiful Julie.
- Brian. [chuckles]
300
00:12:39,801 --> 00:12:42,846
And you must be beautiful Susan.
Charmed, I'm sure.
301
00:12:42,846 --> 00:12:45,182
- I like him.
- Yeah, he's very sparkly.
302
00:12:45,182 --> 00:12:47,851
Sorry that I'm late.
I was meeting someone.
303
00:12:47,851 --> 00:12:50,562
Oh, and I got your all-caps email.
304
00:12:50,562 --> 00:12:54,024
The answer is no, you can't sue
your neighbor for hosting a drum circle.
305
00:12:54,024 --> 00:12:55,901
It's weekly, Kevin.
306
00:12:55,901 --> 00:12:59,905
All right, everyone. Grab your cocktails.
We're playing running charades.
307
00:12:59,905 --> 00:13:01,406
- Dad, your favorite.
- [sighs]
308
00:13:01,406 --> 00:13:04,117
- What's running charades?
- How the fuck would I know?
309
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:06,745
Oh, listen. Before you play,
I made the revisions to the family trust.
310
00:13:06,745 --> 00:13:10,249
- I just need Susan to sign this.
- Susan.
311
00:13:10,249 --> 00:13:14,169
We probably should've done this
back when Mason was born,
312
00:13:14,169 --> 00:13:18,257
but Paul was busy hiding
from me for 20 years.
313
00:13:18,257 --> 00:13:21,134
- [laughs] You're fun.
- Thank you.
314
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:23,262
- She's fun.
- So fun.
315
00:13:23,262 --> 00:13:24,555
Yeah. [chuckles] Hey, Dave.
316
00:13:24,555 --> 00:13:26,181
So, what I was trying
to tell you earlier--
317
00:13:26,181 --> 00:13:27,516
- No.
- Nope.
318
00:13:28,767 --> 00:13:30,060
You gotta get me outta here.
319
00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:32,354
No, no, no. Do not involve me in this.
320
00:13:32,354 --> 00:13:33,438
I won't.
321
00:13:34,606 --> 00:13:38,443
Uh, everyone, I'm sorry. I gotta go
to Kevin's office and sign this thing.
322
00:13:38,443 --> 00:13:41,113
There's some problem. He'll explain why.
323
00:13:41,113 --> 00:13:43,323
[stammering] I need Paul to sign this
324
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:44,491
- in front of a notary...
- Oh, man.
325
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:46,493
...and the only guy I know can't walk,
so we gotta go to him.
326
00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:48,078
It's a tragic story really.
327
00:13:48,078 --> 00:13:49,454
Jesus Christ.
328
00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:56,170
- [phone buzzes]
- Oh.
329
00:13:58,213 --> 00:13:59,673
- Hi.
- Is that Mac?
330
00:14:00,174 --> 00:14:01,383
Tell him I said hi.
331
00:14:01,383 --> 00:14:02,509
And Mac's a stupid name.
332
00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:03,844
[sighs]
333
00:14:04,428 --> 00:14:05,679
How you doing?
334
00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:06,930
It's a total shit show here.
335
00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:08,182
Derek's torturing me
336
00:14:08,182 --> 00:14:10,601
and Connor's gone back
into full whiny bitch mode.
337
00:14:10,601 --> 00:14:12,728
- Mom?
- Yes, sweetheart?
338
00:14:12,728 --> 00:14:14,104
Can I watch TV in your room?
339
00:14:14,104 --> 00:14:16,899
Of course. I love you so much.
340
00:14:16,899 --> 00:14:19,776
Oh, my God. What a puss. How are you?
341
00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:22,529
Prepping for the worst,
but you know, we got this.
342
00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:24,281
We are strong, Black women.
343
00:14:24,281 --> 00:14:27,117
Okay. I'ma let you get away with that
just this once. [grunts]
344
00:14:27,117 --> 00:14:28,327
- Copy that.
- Bye.
345
00:14:29,703 --> 00:14:33,207
Oh, you think 'cause
you got that big-ass water bottle
346
00:14:33,207 --> 00:14:35,042
that you better than everybody?
347
00:14:35,042 --> 00:14:36,835
Mind your own damn business, Mr. Bailey.
348
00:14:36,835 --> 00:14:37,961
Shit.
349
00:14:37,961 --> 00:14:39,338
You waiting on an invite
350
00:14:39,338 --> 00:14:41,507
or did you just forget this is your house
since you never visit?
351
00:14:41,507 --> 00:14:43,300
Dragging me from the front porch, huh?
352
00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:45,802
Oh, she porch-drag everybody.
353
00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:48,180
- Shut the fuck up, Mr. Bailey.
- Yeah, be quiet, Mr. Bailey.
354
00:14:48,180 --> 00:14:49,348
- Damn.
- Damn.
355
00:14:49,348 --> 00:14:51,266
[Gaby] Looking like
a Splash Mountain operator.
356
00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:52,434
[needle buzzing]
357
00:14:52,434 --> 00:14:54,311
Dad, are you not gonna look?
358
00:14:54,311 --> 00:14:56,647
No. But it sounds and smells amazing.
359
00:14:57,189 --> 00:14:58,148
Done.
360
00:14:58,148 --> 00:15:01,360
- What's "TL" stand for?
- It's my mom's initials.
361
00:15:02,528 --> 00:15:04,196
Hey, what was the deal with Mom's tattoos?
362
00:15:04,196 --> 00:15:07,699
Was there any special meaning
behind the skeleton on the skateboard?
363
00:15:07,699 --> 00:15:09,326
There was, as a matter of fact.
364
00:15:09,326 --> 00:15:13,330
It meant that she was very drunk
that night, so... [chuckles]
365
00:15:13,330 --> 00:15:15,749
You want some ink?
Give you a buy one, get one.
366
00:15:15,749 --> 00:15:18,377
I don't think I'm really interested
in a discount tattoo.
367
00:15:18,377 --> 00:15:22,047
Dad, it would mean a lot to me
if we both had Mom's initials tattooed.
368
00:15:22,047 --> 00:15:23,549
Are you guilting me now?
369
00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:24,967
Please?
370
00:15:25,843 --> 00:15:27,427
[sighs] Fuck.
371
00:15:31,473 --> 00:15:33,141
So, what was that back at your place?
372
00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:36,144
- No, thank you.
- Oh, come on. You can talk to me.
373
00:15:36,687 --> 00:15:37,855
We're in the cone of silence.
374
00:15:39,648 --> 00:15:41,817
Did you ever cheat
on one of your romantic partners?
375
00:15:41,817 --> 00:15:44,611
Not sure how much you know
about the gay community in California
376
00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:46,822
but we're very big on monogamy.
377
00:15:46,822 --> 00:15:48,115
Oh.
378
00:15:48,115 --> 00:15:50,242
Well, in the '60s it was the opposite.
379
00:15:50,242 --> 00:15:51,451
How about that?
380
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:53,704
For the record,
I've never cheated on Charlie.
381
00:15:53,704 --> 00:15:57,124
Susan and I got married so fucking young.
382
00:15:57,124 --> 00:16:01,170
And just when Meg came along,
my career took off.
383
00:16:01,712 --> 00:16:05,757
Books, speaking tours, the whole deal.
384
00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:08,468
We grew apart. [sighs]
385
00:16:09,303 --> 00:16:10,804
So you were a cliché.
386
00:16:10,804 --> 00:16:14,641
I'm not interested
in your participation in my story.
387
00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:15,976
Yeah, right.
388
00:16:15,976 --> 00:16:19,062
We had a big fight. Didn't speak for days.
389
00:16:19,771 --> 00:16:24,902
And then one morning, she calls
my hotel room and says she's sorry
390
00:16:25,944 --> 00:16:30,657
but what she doesn't know
is that there's another woman in my bed.
391
00:16:31,241 --> 00:16:32,534
Gasp.
392
00:16:32,534 --> 00:16:34,286
[chuckles] Sorry.
393
00:16:34,286 --> 00:16:38,874
I admitted it
and she took Meg away so fast.
394
00:16:38,874 --> 00:16:40,042
[chuckles]
395
00:16:41,752 --> 00:16:44,338
I was so full of shame
that I didn't really fight back.
396
00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:47,925
I have no idea
why she wants to reconnect now.
397
00:16:47,925 --> 00:16:49,551
Why don't you just ask her?
398
00:16:49,551 --> 00:16:53,096
Because if it's got anything
to do with the past, I'm not interested.
399
00:16:53,096 --> 00:16:54,556
So you're scared?
400
00:16:54,556 --> 00:16:57,017
I'm not scared. [breathes deeply]
401
00:16:57,017 --> 00:16:58,560
I'm apprehensive. [sighs]
402
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:01,021
A solid synonym for scared.
403
00:17:01,605 --> 00:17:04,691
[breathes deeply]
404
00:17:05,442 --> 00:17:06,652
I love pain.
405
00:17:08,319 --> 00:17:09,154
Okay.
406
00:17:11,281 --> 00:17:13,075
Drive me home now, Kevin.
407
00:17:14,159 --> 00:17:16,244
[Jimmy screaming]
408
00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:20,040
Dad. Dad.
409
00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:21,124
Dad.
410
00:17:21,625 --> 00:17:23,252
[grunts] Is that one needle?
411
00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:26,046
That's one needle? That's one needle?
Is that one needle?
412
00:17:26,547 --> 00:17:29,675
Answer me! Is that one needle?
I just wanna know how many needles it is.
413
00:17:29,675 --> 00:17:30,592
[laughs]
414
00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:33,053
[sighs] Her eyes have gotten so bad.
415
00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:34,888
- She needs the cataract surgery.
- [sighs]
416
00:17:34,888 --> 00:17:36,765
I'm afraid she gon' hurt herself.
417
00:17:37,266 --> 00:17:38,725
And she always got a tit out.
418
00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:40,769
I mean, Mom's tits have always been out.
She's proud of 'em.
419
00:17:40,769 --> 00:17:43,188
And you know she's stubborn.
She might not even listen to me.
420
00:17:43,188 --> 00:17:44,565
Oh, please.
421
00:17:44,565 --> 00:17:47,276
She's gonna be all, "Gaby, my baby angel.
422
00:17:47,276 --> 00:17:50,904
Are you tired? Why don't you
lay your head on my loose titty?"
423
00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:52,322
- Okay.
- [Gaby's mom] Oh!
424
00:17:52,322 --> 00:17:55,534
- There's my baby angel.
- Mama.
425
00:17:55,534 --> 00:17:58,912
- Oh, Mama.
- Oh. It's so good to see you.
426
00:17:58,912 --> 00:18:02,541
[chuckles, gasps]
Ooh, you hair looks amazing.
427
00:18:02,541 --> 00:18:04,918
See, I told you her eyes aren't working.
428
00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:06,253
Oh, my God, be quiet.
429
00:18:06,253 --> 00:18:07,212
[stammers]
430
00:18:07,212 --> 00:18:10,591
It's a 15-minute in-office procedure.
What are you so afraid of?
431
00:18:10,591 --> 00:18:12,593
I know they cut open your eyeball.
432
00:18:12,593 --> 00:18:14,052
How else they gon' get in there?
433
00:18:14,052 --> 00:18:15,387
I don't want 'em in there.
434
00:18:15,387 --> 00:18:16,388
Then you can't drive no more--
435
00:18:16,388 --> 00:18:18,098
- Okay.
- Who are you talking... [stammers]
436
00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:19,433
- Wait, wait. Mom.
- You a danger to the road.
437
00:18:19,433 --> 00:18:20,350
What?
438
00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:24,229
Mom, can you please get the surgery?
For me?
439
00:18:25,898 --> 00:18:27,274
All right, fine. For you.
440
00:18:28,025 --> 00:18:31,653
But I don't want no eye patch though.
I ain't no damn pirate.
441
00:18:32,738 --> 00:18:34,531
[clicks tongue]
Okay, now you say "Thank you,"
442
00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:35,699
and then I will say "You're welcome."
443
00:18:35,699 --> 00:18:36,950
Fuck you, Gaby.
444
00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:39,745
You are welcome.
445
00:18:44,625 --> 00:18:46,835
- The shelter isn't using my dog pics.
- [sighs]
446
00:18:46,835 --> 00:18:50,130
They say it's easier to just take them
on their phones and post them.
447
00:18:50,631 --> 00:18:51,924
Do you believe this shit?
448
00:18:53,008 --> 00:18:54,051
Okay.
449
00:18:54,051 --> 00:18:56,762
I know you love giving me
the silent treatment,
450
00:18:56,762 --> 00:19:01,308
but remember if it goes
longer than two days I start to like it.
451
00:19:02,559 --> 00:19:04,186
[grunts] I'll talk to you this weekend.
452
00:19:04,853 --> 00:19:06,188
Goddamn, I just talked.
453
00:19:08,065 --> 00:19:09,066
[Liz] Hey, Connor.
454
00:19:09,066 --> 00:19:10,859
I was thinking, with Summer,
455
00:19:10,859 --> 00:19:13,570
why don't you just be grateful
for the amazing
456
00:19:13,570 --> 00:19:16,156
and emotional nine days you had together?
457
00:19:16,156 --> 00:19:18,408
- Ten.
- Even more meaningful.
458
00:19:19,451 --> 00:19:22,829
But you've got to go back to college
in a positive headspace.
459
00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:24,665
I mean, the semester starts soon, yeah?
460
00:19:25,457 --> 00:19:26,959
Classes started last week.
461
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:30,170
[stammers] I was having
such a good time with Summer
462
00:19:30,170 --> 00:19:32,464
and now I feel like I have to stay
so that I can fix this.
463
00:19:32,464 --> 00:19:33,757
Please don't be mad.
464
00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:36,176
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
465
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:38,011
[clicks tongue] I feel like you're mad.
466
00:19:38,011 --> 00:19:39,263
I'm not mad.
467
00:19:39,805 --> 00:19:41,056
Um, I just need some air though.
468
00:19:44,476 --> 00:19:45,936
[Jimmy hums]
469
00:19:47,896 --> 00:19:49,898
- Hey, Liz.
- Oh, my God, he's everywhere.
470
00:19:49,898 --> 00:19:52,651
Check this out.
I got matching tattoos with Alice.
471
00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:54,820
That's Tia's initials.
472
00:19:54,820 --> 00:19:57,406
At first, I thought it might be tricky,
you know, when I start dating again,
473
00:19:57,406 --> 00:19:59,366
to have another woman's initials
on my arm,
474
00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:02,619
but then I realized it's a pretty cool way
to tell someone my wife's dead.
475
00:20:02,619 --> 00:20:04,162
Not now, Jimmy. [sighs]
476
00:20:04,162 --> 00:20:05,080
Everything okay?
477
00:20:05,998 --> 00:20:07,374
Earth to Lizzie.
478
00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:09,376
Lizzie, you okay? Lizzie.
479
00:20:09,376 --> 00:20:11,545
You can't help yourself, can you?
480
00:20:11,545 --> 00:20:14,923
Fine. Do you know where Alice
got the idea for a tiny tattoo?
481
00:20:14,923 --> 00:20:18,260
From me. From my tiny tattoos.
482
00:20:18,260 --> 00:20:21,972
We came up with it
back when I was raising her for you.
483
00:20:22,681 --> 00:20:24,808
Oh, and do you know what I just found out?
484
00:20:24,808 --> 00:20:27,603
Connor's school just started,
but he's not there,
485
00:20:27,603 --> 00:20:31,815
because he's in my kitchen crying
because your daughter slept with him
486
00:20:31,815 --> 00:20:33,984
and fucking exploded his life.
487
00:20:33,984 --> 00:20:36,195
- Oh, boy.
- [imitates Jimmy] Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
488
00:20:36,195 --> 00:20:38,197
- I don't sound like that.
- That's exactly how you sound.
489
00:20:38,197 --> 00:20:39,865
Listen, Connor is the one who cheated.
490
00:20:39,865 --> 00:20:45,370
Do you really think there's a world
where Connor gets to choose who he fucks?
491
00:20:45,954 --> 00:20:48,665
- No.
- I feel like I'm losing it, Jimmy.
492
00:20:48,665 --> 00:20:52,753
And every time I feel that way,
I can trace it back to one person.
493
00:20:52,753 --> 00:20:54,213
Yeah. You.
494
00:20:54,213 --> 00:20:57,633
And many, many thanks
for bringing Sean into my life
495
00:20:57,633 --> 00:21:01,553
so I could start a business and...
Oh, find my purpose.
496
00:21:01,553 --> 00:21:02,638
"Find your purpose, Liz."
497
00:21:02,638 --> 00:21:07,059
Now, it's turned into a giant shit pie
that I have to eat.
498
00:21:07,059 --> 00:21:10,729
- It's not my fault that you went--
- I am not done yet.
499
00:21:10,729 --> 00:21:14,691
You totally fucked up our friend group
with your needy penis.
500
00:21:14,691 --> 00:21:19,488
Maybe it's not sad or selfish,
but it's so needy.
501
00:21:19,488 --> 00:21:20,781
- It's okay.
- And then,
502
00:21:20,781 --> 00:21:23,242
you mess with Pam's construction crew.
503
00:21:23,242 --> 00:21:25,661
Now they're throwing bottles
into our yards.
504
00:21:25,661 --> 00:21:29,998
And normally, Derek would help me
through my meltdown,
505
00:21:29,998 --> 00:21:33,418
but thanks to you,
he's not speaking to me,
506
00:21:33,418 --> 00:21:36,630
and for some reason,
I don't like it this time.
507
00:21:36,630 --> 00:21:39,633
I apologized for that and you forgave me.
508
00:21:39,633 --> 00:21:42,177
You're unforgiven.
You are fucking unforgiven.
509
00:21:42,177 --> 00:21:45,055
And you're the original unforgiver.
510
00:21:45,055 --> 00:21:47,850
But you don't care.
You don't do anything about it.
511
00:21:47,850 --> 00:21:49,393
Like with Gaby.
512
00:21:49,393 --> 00:21:51,019
I finally had a cool friend.
513
00:21:51,019 --> 00:21:54,314
I even bragged
to all the people I hate about her,
514
00:21:54,815 --> 00:21:56,984
but because she doesn't come
around here anymore,
515
00:21:56,984 --> 00:21:58,777
they don't believe she's real.
516
00:21:58,777 --> 00:22:01,405
And yes, I might've said she was 7' tall.
517
00:22:01,405 --> 00:22:03,782
But you drove her away
and you've done nothing about it.
518
00:22:03,782 --> 00:22:05,909
You're just sitting around
519
00:22:05,909 --> 00:22:08,203
waiting for someone to gallop in
on their white horse
520
00:22:08,203 --> 00:22:10,706
and fix everything for you
because that's what you fucking do.
521
00:22:10,706 --> 00:22:11,623
Right? Isn't it?
522
00:22:11,623 --> 00:22:13,166
Fuck you, Jimmy.
523
00:22:13,750 --> 00:22:15,919
- [door opens, closes]
- This was a fun day.
524
00:22:18,088 --> 00:22:21,258
If you go the adoption route,
I have a few questions.
525
00:22:21,258 --> 00:22:24,136
And remember, there are no wrong answers.
526
00:22:24,136 --> 00:22:26,680
Okay, first up, any racial preferences?
527
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:28,390
What's Pedro Pascal?
528
00:22:28,390 --> 00:22:30,392
Uh, maybe there are some wrong answers.
529
00:22:30,392 --> 00:22:32,311
[chuckles] Okay, next question.
530
00:22:32,311 --> 00:22:35,856
Would you be willing to consider a child
with a medical condition
531
00:22:35,856 --> 00:22:37,733
who may require extra care?
532
00:22:37,733 --> 00:22:39,526
Of course.
533
00:22:39,526 --> 00:22:40,736
[mouthing word] No.
534
00:22:40,736 --> 00:22:42,362
[stammers] I can see you.
535
00:22:42,362 --> 00:22:46,116
You can just say no.
Lots of bad people say no.
536
00:22:46,116 --> 00:22:48,744
I have a question. [breathes deeply]
537
00:22:48,744 --> 00:22:51,496
- What if this baby doesn't take to me?
- Oh.
538
00:22:51,997 --> 00:22:52,915
Can we send it back?
539
00:22:52,915 --> 00:22:57,878
Well, there are no returns, uh,
but there is a 30-day exchange policy.
540
00:22:57,878 --> 00:23:00,756
- Really?
- No. It's a baby. [chuckles]
541
00:23:00,756 --> 00:23:02,633
Is this how it's going to be?
542
00:23:02,633 --> 00:23:04,801
- You'll get used to it.
- [both chuckle]
543
00:23:04,801 --> 00:23:07,679
I don't think I will. [chuckles]
544
00:23:07,679 --> 00:23:09,348
- [chuckling]
- [sighs]
545
00:23:09,348 --> 00:23:13,560
So, let me see. You embarrassed yourself
by being yourself?
546
00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:15,187
How is that my fault?
547
00:23:15,187 --> 00:23:16,605
Because, thanks to you,
548
00:23:16,605 --> 00:23:19,233
I'm freaking out that I'm gonna end up
with an estranged daughter
549
00:23:19,233 --> 00:23:21,068
and an ex who won't speak to me.
550
00:23:22,069 --> 00:23:23,320
Just talk to your ex.
551
00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:25,364
You don't even know why she's here.
552
00:23:25,364 --> 00:23:28,033
Maybe she found a painting
worth a billion dollars and you get half.
553
00:23:28,033 --> 00:23:29,535
It could be fun news.
554
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:31,828
- [scoffs]
- [Susan laughs]
555
00:23:31,828 --> 00:23:33,914
- [Dave chattering]
- [Susan laughs]
556
00:23:33,914 --> 00:23:35,040
Susan.
557
00:23:36,625 --> 00:23:38,043
[whispering] Why are you here?
558
00:23:38,043 --> 00:23:41,547
I had a friend who recently
got diagnosed with Parkinson's.
559
00:23:41,547 --> 00:23:43,006
She died a few months later.
560
00:23:43,006 --> 00:23:46,426
And I felt like you and I
should talk again before you die.
561
00:23:52,140 --> 00:23:53,141
You were right.
562
00:23:54,309 --> 00:23:55,602
Fun news.
563
00:23:55,602 --> 00:23:57,521
I like it. Why don't you brainstorm on it
564
00:23:57,521 --> 00:24:01,233
and then we will actually
get more into that next week.
565
00:24:01,233 --> 00:24:02,985
Sounds good. Thanks, Professor Evans.
566
00:24:02,985 --> 00:24:04,528
All right. Bye. Bye.
567
00:24:05,571 --> 00:24:07,197
Professor Evans?
568
00:24:07,197 --> 00:24:11,535
Okay. Well, can you please go pick up Mom
from her surgery on Monday?
569
00:24:11,535 --> 00:24:13,412
- Mmm. Mmm.
- I'd super appreciate it. Thank you.
570
00:24:13,412 --> 00:24:16,331
No, I can't, actually,
because I have clients all day
571
00:24:16,331 --> 00:24:17,708
and then I have class...
572
00:24:17,708 --> 00:24:19,418
Why? What are you doing?
573
00:24:19,418 --> 00:24:20,961
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm not allowed to have a life?
574
00:24:20,961 --> 00:24:22,796
Come on. This is why you live here.
575
00:24:22,796 --> 00:24:26,884
No, I live here to wait on Mom
and drive her back and forth to dialysis.
576
00:24:26,884 --> 00:24:28,927
You know what it's like
to take care of somebody 24-7?
577
00:24:28,927 --> 00:24:31,305
I do actually,
because growing up I did it.
578
00:24:31,305 --> 00:24:32,472
We all did.
579
00:24:32,472 --> 00:24:34,600
Do you know how many sacrifices
I had to make for you?
580
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:36,727
Do you know how many school dances
I missed out on,
581
00:24:36,727 --> 00:24:38,979
because we were getting you
in and out of rehab?
582
00:24:38,979 --> 00:24:40,522
I could've ground on so many dudes.
583
00:24:40,522 --> 00:24:42,399
- You did fine.
- Whatever.
584
00:24:42,399 --> 00:24:45,527
Spare me the pity party, all right.
It's your turn to come through.
585
00:24:45,527 --> 00:24:47,571
I know I spent the past couple years
taking care of Mom
586
00:24:47,571 --> 00:24:48,739
because that's my penance.
587
00:24:48,739 --> 00:24:50,574
I put everyone through hell.
588
00:24:50,574 --> 00:24:53,952
I just didn't think I'd have to spend
the rest of my life paying for it
589
00:24:53,952 --> 00:24:57,080
while you get to go out there
and just live yours.
590
00:24:59,750 --> 00:25:02,920
Nothing else to say?
I thought people paid you to talk.
591
00:25:05,923 --> 00:25:07,424
Actually they pay me to listen.
592
00:25:10,886 --> 00:25:15,724
I have been avoiding you
because I'm a coward.
593
00:25:15,724 --> 00:25:17,643
Not how I would've phrased it.
594
00:25:17,643 --> 00:25:18,977
What would you say?
595
00:25:18,977 --> 00:25:20,479
Little baby chicken bitch.
596
00:25:21,980 --> 00:25:23,190
It's better.
597
00:25:24,191 --> 00:25:27,778
To be honest with you, I thought you were
coming out here to make me feel guilty.
598
00:25:28,654 --> 00:25:30,781
But if I practice what I preach,
599
00:25:31,949 --> 00:25:34,910
I really should have met you
with more goodwill.
600
00:25:35,953 --> 00:25:37,496
{\an8}Great call on these pliers, Dad.
601
00:25:37,496 --> 00:25:39,373
{\an8}Ah, yeah. Perfect for deveining shrimp.
602
00:25:39,373 --> 00:25:43,001
Yeah. And there's no one
I'd rather devein shrimp with than you.
603
00:25:43,502 --> 00:25:46,004
[chuckling] Okay.
604
00:25:47,714 --> 00:25:49,925
Look, I want to, uh,
talk to you about something.
605
00:25:51,051 --> 00:25:52,427
I followed you home the other night.
606
00:25:53,178 --> 00:25:56,139
- I saw you live with your therapist.
- Yeah.
607
00:25:56,139 --> 00:26:00,143
What's really going on?
I'm not mad, I just want it to make sense.
608
00:26:00,936 --> 00:26:01,937
[sighs]
609
00:26:01,937 --> 00:26:04,690
I want us to be able
to be around each other
610
00:26:04,690 --> 00:26:05,858
while we still can.
611
00:26:06,483 --> 00:26:08,735
Remember Meg's boring school plays?
612
00:26:08,735 --> 00:26:12,364
We used to pass around that flask
and play pick-and-sip.
613
00:26:12,364 --> 00:26:15,701
Every time a kid picked his nose,
we'd take a drink.
614
00:26:16,577 --> 00:26:18,829
Nasty little fuckers got us hammered.
615
00:26:20,664 --> 00:26:24,168
How did we get here?
Why can't we be around each other at all?
616
00:26:25,043 --> 00:26:26,420
Because I cheated.
617
00:26:28,380 --> 00:26:29,965
And I fucked it all up.
618
00:26:30,883 --> 00:26:36,138
I couldn't forgive myself,
so how could you forgive me?
619
00:26:36,138 --> 00:26:38,473
Paul, you're forgiven.
620
00:26:39,933 --> 00:26:42,352
Jesus, I forgave you a long time ago.
621
00:26:42,352 --> 00:26:43,812
You could've told me.
622
00:26:43,812 --> 00:26:46,273
- Where would be the fun in that?
- [chuckles]
623
00:26:46,982 --> 00:26:50,277
Yeah, you were an asshole,
but I resented your success.
624
00:26:51,195 --> 00:26:52,821
And I know I made things harder for you.
625
00:26:53,447 --> 00:26:54,573
[door opens]
626
00:26:55,282 --> 00:26:56,366
Everyone okay out here?
627
00:26:56,366 --> 00:26:57,534
We're all good.
628
00:26:57,534 --> 00:26:58,702
Talking.
629
00:26:59,536 --> 00:27:00,579
This is good.
630
00:27:02,372 --> 00:27:05,459
Still, no matter what
we did to each other,
631
00:27:06,084 --> 00:27:07,419
we made Meg.
632
00:27:07,419 --> 00:27:09,338
And she's perfect.
633
00:27:10,214 --> 00:27:11,298
Yeah, she is.
634
00:27:11,298 --> 00:27:14,218
And now Mason.
Can you believe how lucky we are?
635
00:27:16,261 --> 00:27:17,804
What about Dave?
636
00:27:21,892 --> 00:27:23,393
I didn't mention him, did I?
637
00:27:23,393 --> 00:27:27,189
Susan, thank you for this.
638
00:27:28,315 --> 00:27:29,316
And them.
639
00:27:30,025 --> 00:27:34,446
When you're connected
by so much family and love,
640
00:27:34,446 --> 00:27:36,823
{\an8}forgiveness is the easy part.
641
00:27:36,823 --> 00:27:40,953
So, I asked for your help
and maybe I didn't do it right but...
642
00:27:41,662 --> 00:27:46,041
I guess it felt like you let me down
and I didn't know how to tell you.
643
00:27:46,041 --> 00:27:47,543
Maybe I didn't wanna tell you.
644
00:27:50,003 --> 00:27:51,964
[exhales deeply]
645
00:27:53,507 --> 00:27:54,716
I knew this shit would happen.
646
00:27:55,509 --> 00:27:57,135
Fucking therapists.
647
00:27:57,886 --> 00:27:59,930
Always telling you to blame the parents.
648
00:27:59,930 --> 00:28:01,348
Nobody told me to blame you.
649
00:28:01,348 --> 00:28:02,808
Now, what was the worst thing I did?
650
00:28:02,808 --> 00:28:05,310
Was it the 23 years
of loving you no matter what?
651
00:28:05,310 --> 00:28:08,856
Was it draining my savings
to hang with you in this fucking truck
652
00:28:09,690 --> 00:28:11,650
even though I have a full-time job?
653
00:28:11,650 --> 00:28:13,652
Tell me what I did to let you down.
654
00:28:14,528 --> 00:28:15,362
Tell me.
655
00:28:16,446 --> 00:28:17,322
Exactly.
656
00:28:17,322 --> 00:28:19,950
Save the bullshit for someone else.
657
00:28:21,827 --> 00:28:24,454
[breathing deeply]
658
00:28:33,046 --> 00:28:34,423
Jimmy, what the hell are you doing here?
659
00:28:35,716 --> 00:28:37,551
Just so you know my intentions are pure.
660
00:28:38,844 --> 00:28:39,887
What the fuck, dude?
661
00:28:40,888 --> 00:28:44,099
Shit! That is a mistake.
I thought I was wearing black underwear.
662
00:28:44,099 --> 00:28:47,102
Look, I'm here because
I feel like you might need some support.
663
00:28:47,811 --> 00:28:50,480
And for whatever reason, your mom
and your sister seem to really like me.
664
00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:52,482
That's 'cause I used to tell them
you were fucking awesome.
665
00:28:53,525 --> 00:28:55,903
I'm not doing a very good job
at giving you your space.
666
00:28:55,903 --> 00:28:58,614
[sighs] And I will be better about that.
667
00:29:00,032 --> 00:29:03,744
If now's not a good time,
I totally get it and I'll split.
668
00:29:03,744 --> 00:29:06,622
["Bittersweet" playing]
669
00:29:10,042 --> 00:29:11,043
[sighs]
670
00:29:13,378 --> 00:29:14,546
You coming inside or what?
671
00:29:17,799 --> 00:29:19,551
And then Courtney
has the nerve to call me out
672
00:29:19,551 --> 00:29:21,303
like I'm holding her hostage or some shit.
673
00:29:21,303 --> 00:29:22,513
Can you believe that?
674
00:29:22,513 --> 00:29:24,139
[breathes shakily, chuckles]
675
00:29:26,225 --> 00:29:27,184
What's happening?
676
00:29:27,184 --> 00:29:29,811
I drove over here to be supportive of you,
677
00:29:30,521 --> 00:29:33,899
but then you also said
that friends tell each other hard truths.
678
00:29:33,899 --> 00:29:35,651
This is awful. Can I take a quick shower?
679
00:29:35,651 --> 00:29:36,693
No. Spit it out.
680
00:29:36,693 --> 00:29:38,820
- Your sister's right, Gaby.
- Oh, my God. Fuck off.
681
00:29:38,820 --> 00:29:41,240
Come on, she is. She's right. You know it.
682
00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:43,742
[sighs] Goddamn it.
683
00:29:45,619 --> 00:29:47,579
- Sorry.
- [sighs, groans]
684
00:29:48,288 --> 00:29:49,790
Do you want me to split now?
685
00:29:49,790 --> 00:29:50,958
Nice try.
686
00:29:50,958 --> 00:29:53,168
Dinner's gonna suck balls,
so you're staying.
687
00:29:53,168 --> 00:29:55,462
- Do they know we slept together?
- No.
688
00:29:56,630 --> 00:29:57,798
Then I got my icebreaker.
689
00:29:57,798 --> 00:29:58,882
[chuckles]
690
00:29:58,882 --> 00:29:59,967
You're stupid.
691
00:30:01,468 --> 00:30:03,303
[sighs]
692
00:30:03,303 --> 00:30:04,429
[knocks on door]
693
00:30:06,557 --> 00:30:07,891
- Hey.
- Hey.
694
00:30:07,891 --> 00:30:10,978
I DoorDashed you tacos,
but they brought me the wrong order,
695
00:30:10,978 --> 00:30:17,818
so here is CVS-brand Robitussin
and those acne nose pore strips.
696
00:30:18,443 --> 00:30:20,404
Actually sounds like a fun night.
697
00:30:20,404 --> 00:30:21,655
[music continues]
698
00:30:22,698 --> 00:30:24,533
I'm really sorry
for messing everything up.
699
00:30:24,533 --> 00:30:27,619
You hurt Connor, and I love him
more than anyone in the world.
700
00:30:28,579 --> 00:30:30,998
But I love you second best.
701
00:30:30,998 --> 00:30:32,291
You have two other sons.
702
00:30:32,291 --> 00:30:33,500
I said what I said.
703
00:30:34,459 --> 00:30:36,378
You and me, we're gonna be good, right?
704
00:30:37,254 --> 00:30:39,631
You've got a rock.
I just need a little time.
705
00:30:39,631 --> 00:30:40,716
Okay.
706
00:30:43,218 --> 00:30:45,220
- Was that enough time?
- Almost.
707
00:30:46,221 --> 00:30:49,683
As you can see,
we can improve photovoltaic absorption
708
00:30:49,683 --> 00:30:55,022
with semi-conductor materials,
fine-tuned for specific spectral ranges.
709
00:30:55,564 --> 00:31:01,153
I should mention these...
[continues indistinctly]
710
00:31:23,467 --> 00:31:25,093
- Come on.
- Yeah, child.
711
00:31:25,093 --> 00:31:26,178
I put a little sugar in it too.
712
00:31:26,178 --> 00:31:28,138
- The sure is Gouda.
- Get your elbow off the table, baby.
713
00:31:28,138 --> 00:31:30,224
- Yeah. Get your elbow--
- Oh, Lord have mercy--
714
00:31:30,224 --> 00:31:32,601
They picked up
the trash cans this morning.
715
00:31:32,601 --> 00:31:34,561
Why are your garbage cans
still on the street?
716
00:31:34,561 --> 00:31:36,605
- [groans]
- Why the hell are you in our lawn?
717
00:31:36,605 --> 00:31:38,023
We're not doing this with you, Mr. Bailey.
718
00:31:38,023 --> 00:31:39,274
You're a garbage can.
719
00:31:39,274 --> 00:31:40,901
Yeah. Screw you, Mr. Bailey.
720
00:31:40,901 --> 00:31:41,985
- [gasps]
- You don't do that.
721
00:31:41,985 --> 00:31:43,070
You show that man some respect.
722
00:31:43,070 --> 00:31:44,988
He's a veteran. Apologize to him.
723
00:31:44,988 --> 00:31:46,073
Yes, ma'am.
724
00:31:46,073 --> 00:31:49,201
[clears throat] I'm sorry, sir.
725
00:31:49,743 --> 00:31:51,495
[clears throat]
Thank you for your service.
726
00:31:51,495 --> 00:31:52,704
There. Good.
727
00:31:54,206 --> 00:31:56,625
Now, get on out of here. Crazy person.
728
00:31:56,625 --> 00:31:58,418
[chuckles]
729
00:32:02,798 --> 00:32:05,342
[construction crew chattering, laughing]
730
00:32:09,346 --> 00:32:11,348
[engine starts]
731
00:32:17,062 --> 00:32:19,565
- That motherfucker. Yeah. Yeah.
- [laughing]
732
00:32:21,275 --> 00:32:22,442
What the fuck?
733
00:32:22,442 --> 00:32:23,944
You forgot that.
734
00:32:24,862 --> 00:32:27,406
Don't take another step
unless you wanna get your ass beat.
735
00:32:31,535 --> 00:32:33,620
[chuckles] Big mistake.
736
00:32:40,460 --> 00:32:43,338
- You really want this? Come get it.
- [crew member 2] Okay. Here he comes.
737
00:32:43,338 --> 00:32:46,592
- [scuffling]
- [grunting]